Two Heads are Better then One
by Evil-Queen-Charlotte
Summary: Ever since the first day in Elf School, Bernard had been best friends with her. Now that he is Head Elf and she is Head Chef they are still as close as friends can be, but could it be something more?
1. Chapter 1

Two Heads are Better then One Part 1

The hustle and bustle of the holiday season had quickly approached the elves at the North Pole this year. Everything was on track and nothing should go wrong this year. This particular day was coming to an end and Voltaire watched as Bernard entered her kitchen. This was typical, he always stopped by the kitchen last on his end of the day rounds. He spotted her by the oven and walked over to her. Everyone had gone home by this time of night, they were always the last ones left in the work shop.

"I trust everything is on schedule?" he asked her as she wiped her hands on her apron.

"Yea, had a few things wrong with the oven, but I managed to fix it," she replied and took her apron off and hung it up on the hangers by the door. She then grabbed two recyclable cups and handed one to the head elf before they left the kitchen.

"Ah, thanks. I always look forward to your hot chocolate at the end of a busy day. I don't care what anyone says, yours is better then Judy's," he said as he took a small sip and smiled with relief.

"And that is why I am the head chef and she is just Santa's assistant. Is she still with that guy from wrapping?"

"That I know of, yeah. I thought you didn't snoop into people's personal lives?"

"I don't but she's a friend and she seemed even more happy lately, it actually kind of freaks me out a bit."

Bernard chuckled at that. Now they were outside and they could see their breath in the cold air as they walked to their building. Majority of elves lived in houses but the busiest and most important elves lived in the apartments next to the work shop.

Voltaire was the second oldest elf in the area, being 1798, just two years younger then Bernard. She could be somewhat equivalent to a number three elf. She was the Head Chef but she also helped out where she could, ever since she experienced her first Christmas season with Bernard as the head elf.

It was tradition to walk home together after work. It relaxed them to have some hot chocolate, in the cold air, with a friend to laugh with. They lived right next door to each other; the number two elf lived in a house with his family, so there was no one separating them. They immediately became friends when they first met, and have been ever since.

"So ready for tomorrow? It's the big day," said Voltaire and she took a sip of her drink.

"Everything cannot be better, Santa is ready and no one it behind schedule. I just hope that I didn't just jinx it," laughed Bernard.

"Nah, it will be great, you know it will," she said as she nudged him a bit. He smiled at her and took a sip of his drink.

"This tastes slightly different from yesterdays," he said looking at it, "do I taste some orange?"

"Yep, new recipe, and you're always my guinea pig," said Voltaire finished off her hot chocolate.

"And if they keep tasting like this, then I feel honoured."

"Well you should, I am the head chef in the North Pole."

"And for that I am thankful." Bernard nodded to support his statement. Soon they arrived to their building and walked inside and up to their rooms.

"Good night see you in the morning," said Voltaire as she hugged him.  
"See you bright and early, and I will most definitely will be wanting more of this," said Bernard as he stepped back from the hug and shook his almost empty cup. Voltaire chuckled and nodded. They then went into their rooms.

Voltaire heard her alarm go off and turned the jingling bells off and looked at the time. Here at the North Pole it was five in the morning. Usually she would get up at six but today was Christmas Eve. and for the elves that meant last minute things.

Getting out of her queen sized bed and making it so the deep green comforter and sheets were pulled out stretching from the cherry wood foot board to the head board decorated with branches and leaves. Her room was decent sized with a plush black carpet and green walls with silver feathered on.

She grabbed her clothes and took a quick shower before pulling her clothes on. She wore a black jagged skirt, with a silver shirt, a black jacket with white trim, black and white knee socks, and silver knee high boots. Her dark brown hair was left down to curl to her waist because she didn't like the attention so her silver eyes that she got when it was pulled up. She threw her black page boy cap on and waked out the door.

She headed straight to the kitchen and turned on a few things and began cooking. She was in charge of making the breakfast for all the people in her apartment building and for the Claus'. She heard the door open and close and the familiar presence of the head elf sat itself down at one of the tables.

"How are you this morning?" she asked as she slipped him a mug of that hot chocolate that he loved so much last night.

"Well it was good, then I got up," he said. She gave him 'the look'. "Kidding, I'm fine. And the rest of the day will be fine."

"Glad to hear it. I mean what kind of disaster could have happened within the thirty minutes you woke up to now that would be bad?"

"Nothing, but you never know when there could be something."

"True, well what do you want for breakfast this morning?" Since he was the first one up all the time, he always got to pick what to eat.

"Those crepes you made last week," he said.

"The ones with chocolate and mint?" she asked trying to remember the filling.

"Those are the ones," he nodded. She smiled at the choice and set to work while he watched her.

Voltaire finished and handed a plate to Bernard. A few more people came in and she gave them some breakfast as well. Then Santa came in.

"Morning Bernard, Voltaire," he greeted as he sat down next to Bernard.

"Morning Santa," they both said in unison. He just chuckled at them.

"You guys are too cute," he said. Bernard raised at eye brow at him and Voltaire crossed her arms.

"Cute?" she questioned.

"Yes, cute," was all Santa said before he took his plate and left the kitchen. Voltaire just shook her head and went off to tell an incoming chef about what they needed to do today. She was already running around the kitchen getting everything set up and pulling out some cookie dough to thaw and mixing some frosting. Bernard finished and put his dish in the empty sink.

"I'm going to go check on Santa, I'll be back later," he said. Voltaire nodded then went back to pulling out dough.

That evening Voltaire and Bernard walked around the work shop. Santa had just went off and they were watching everyone cleaning up and getting ready for their vacation. Everything that was going smoothly, that is until it happened.

"Bernard trouble with Santa. He fell off a roof and we have a new Santa," said a small elf running up to the two.

"Great. Looks like I'm in for a long night. What's the new Santa's name?" asked Bernard rubbing his temples.

"Scott Calvin," said the elf.

"S.C. Classic. Voltaire, do you think you can go get some information on him. I'll meet you in Research once I talk to the elves," said Bernard. Voltaire nodded and ran off to Research.

"Come on Lyle, let's go tell the elves," said Bernard walking with the elf to the main area of the workshop area. He stood on the balcony overlooking the main area of the work shop and clapped his hands together. Immediately the room went silent in respect to hear what their head elf had to say.

"I have some important news. Unfortunately Santa has fallen off a roof," he said solemnly. The elves all looked down. "Tonight will be a rough night, we don▓t know how the new guy will react to being Santa, so don't take anything he says personally. Now back to work, I don't want this place looking like a mess when we get back from break."

The elves listened to their head elf and resumed what they were doing. Lyle soon left Bernard's side to go help an elf having trouble carrying a large box. Bernard sighed and made his way to Research. He entered and saw all the computers off except one. This area was used to see what toys kids were into these days, because sometimes their letters just weren't enough. And on the rare occasion they got a new Santa, to see if there is any information on him. Bernard made his way over to Voltaire who had her attention on the screen and was reading something. He stood behind and leaned down next to her to read as well. She turned her head slightly and jumped. Bernard laughed.

"Don't do that, you know I hate it when you do that!" she yelled and hit in his chest to make him stop laughing. He didn't, if anything he laughed more.

"I know, I'm sorry, but the look on your face," he said calming down. She just leaned back in the chair and crossed her arms looking at him.

"Scott Calvin, divorced with a son named Charlie who he hardly sees because his son does not like him. Important figure to a toy company. Cannot cook to save his life," replied Voltaire with a monotonous voice.

"He sounds like someone who will be hard to convince if his own son doesn't like him. This really is going to be a long night," he said sitting in the seat next to Voltaire and putting his head in his hands. Voltaire sighed and put a reassuring hand on his back.

"I can stay with you if you want and help explain," she said rubbing his back a bit. It was always hard convincing a new Santa. It was like having to start all over again.

"That would be great, but I don▓t think you have to go through that torture too," he said sitting up and looking at her.

"Oh, tosh, I think I can handle it. After all, I put up with you all the time."

"I'll let that remark slide."

"Good. Your hat is falling off," said Voltaire right before it slid off his head and onto his lap. He sighed and Voltaire picked it up and put it securely back on his head.

"Thanks. You know at times you can act like my mother."

"I get the feeling that wasn't a compliment and that you should say something to make up for it."

"But you don't all the time so I like you better then my mother, and you're prettier."

"Sweet, and so un-you. I'll buy it for now. Santa should be coming soon."

"Joy."

"Come on Head Elf time to do what you do best, give life changing news."

-

A/N: So how this is going to work is I'm following the story line of each movie and a little after the third. Yes I am aware the Bernard is not in the third movie, you will see how I work around that when the time comes. 


	2. Chapter 2

Two Heads are Better then One Part 2

Slowly the reindeer appeared one by one in their pens and the ceiling platform came down with the sled perched upon it. This was the way all new Santa's entered. Voltaire stood by Bernard as other elves watched his entrance. Finally it came to a full halt and the elves in charge of the sled went to go take care of it. Scott got off and started asking for the person in charge.

"That's means you," said Voltaire and she gave Bernard a little shove in the direction of Santa and where he was talking to an elf.

"Who's causing all the trouble here?" he asked walking up with his hands on his hips. Voltaire next to him.

"He is."

"She is."

They had to reply at the same time.

"Excuse me, are we on a coffee break?" asked Bernard to the elf.

"We don't drink coffee," she replied.

"Then I guess the break is over, back to work. Thanks" he said. She rolled her eyes and went back to work.

"Hey take is easy on her. Who are you two?" asked Scott staring at them.

"Voltaire."

"And I'm Bernard, nice to meet you Santa," and he started walking away with Voltaire at his side.

"I am not Santa!" he exclaimed and started mumbling about dogs and kayaks while following after the two elves that were walking towards the kitchens.

"Let me guess, the other Santa disappeared right?" asked Bernard and he rolled his eyes.

"Hey, I know where this is going. It wasn't my fault, the guy fell it was an accident. I have homeowner's insurance and a good attorney, not as good as my wives, but let's not open up that wound," Scott began to ramble on some more. The two elves continued to walk till, Scott had a realization and grabbed them by the shoulders making them stop and turn around. "How did you know the other guy was gone?" he scrutinized.

"Can I get you a drink?" Voltaire asked when she felt Bernard tap her on the back.

"Wha- no I don't want a drink," he said shocked.

"I'm thirsty, and hungry too!" came a voice down the hall. Everyone looked and saw Scott's son, Charlie, walking up.

"Charlie I thought I told you to stay in the sleigh," said Scott looking down to his son.

"Who's this?" asked Bernard. Voltaire looked incredulously at Bernard for not remembering what she had told him not long beforehand.

"This is my son Charlie. Charlie this is Vo-Vol-Vold-" he started.

"Voltaire."

"And Ba-Ber-"

"Bernard."

"Voltaire and Bernard," Scott repeated.

"Hi Voltaire, hi Bernard," he said holding his hand out. Voltaire shook and nodded to him.

"Hiya sport," said Bernard leaning down and shaking his hand after Voltaire did.

"Hey dad he called me sport just like you," said Charlie in surprise.

"Wonderful," replied Scott with an all too sarcastic tone.

"Hey, I have something for you," started Bernard. Scott just rolled his eyes and stared pacing around in a bored fashion, "okay now hold out your hand and be very careful. This is very old, almost as old as I am." Bernard placed the snow globe into Charlie's outstretched hand while Voltaire watched Scott to make sure he didn't do anything stupid, like go into the ball room.

"Shake it up, Charlie," said Bernard and Voltaire watched the two again.

"Whoa!" was he could say as he watched the snow fall onto the Christmas scene.

"Why don't you hold onto it for me for a while. It might come in handy," said Bernard with a happy look on his face that someone appreciates his gift.

"Thanks. Thanks a lot. I promise I'll take real good care of it."

"Make sure you do."

"I will. Hey dad look!" Charlie turned to show his dad the snow globe and Bernard turned to Voltaire and gave her a pleading look as he listened to Scott's remark of : 'Hey those fall'. Voltaire gave him a pat on the shoulder and they turned to face Scott as he walked over to the two.

"Hey Barabus-" he started.

"Where did you get that from?" Voltaire said, not being able to contain herself.

"It's Bernard," said Bernard already getting some attitude laced in his words.

"Bernard, can we take a direct flight back to reality, or do we have to change planes in Denver first?" Scott asked.

"Oh Larry, take Charlie here and get him some of those cookies I just made and some hot chocolate," said Voltaire to a passing elf. He nodded and Charlie smiled and followed after him.

"No Larry don't do that, Charlie!" started Scott but the ever impatient Bernard beckoned him.

"Follow me if you want to get out of those clothes," he said and started to walk away and Voltaire waited for Scott to come follow along as well.

"Look Barnaby, I just want to go home," said Scott chasing after him. He was already inside the main workshop area waiting.

"Word from the wise, his name is Bernard," said Voltaire to Scott as they followed after the head elf.

"Right, Bernard. Say why is your boyfriend so uptight?" Scott asked walking next to Voltaire.

"He isn't my boyfriend, Santa." Was her only reply before they met up with Bernard again.

"Look I am not Santa Claus," he said and began to stare at the workshop.

"Did you or did you not read the card?" asked Bernard.

"Yea," replied Scott as he took off his jacket and continued to look around while following Bernard.

"Then you're the new Santa. In putting on the hat and Jacket you accepted the contract," said Bernard as he grabbed a cookie on a dish nearby.

"What contract?"

"That card in the Santa suit, you said you read it. So when you put on the suit you fell subject to the Santa Clause, here," and he handed out one of my large chocolate-chip cookies.

"Santa Claus? He fell off my roof."

"No not Santa Claus the person, Santa Clause, the Clause."

"What?"

"Try talking business," whispered Voltaire into Bernard's ear. He nodded and turned to Scott again.

"Look, you're a business man right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, a clause, as in the last line of a contract." A pause. "You got the card?"

"Oh here." He handed it to Scott and Bernard held it under a magnifying glass for him to see.

"In putting on the suit and entering the sleigh the wearer waives any and all rights to any previous identity, real or implied, and fully accepts the duties and responsibilities of Santa Claus in perpetuity until such time the wearer becomes unable to do so," Scott takes the card, " by either accident or design," finishes Bernard with the entire thing memorized.

"What does that mean?!"

"It means, you put on the suit, you're the big guy," sighed Bernard and begins to walk away again.

"This is ridiculous. I didn't put on the suit just to-" Scott started, but went to far.

"TRY TO UNDERSTAND THIS!" Bernard yelled, causing the elves to 'oo' at the conversation and Voltaire to put a hand on his shoulder.

"Calm down a bit, please," said Voltaire. Bernard took a deep breath and then started to pull Scott along by his sleeve.

"Let me explain something here. Toys have to be delivered. I'm not going to do that, it's not my job. I'm just an elf. It's Santa's job, but Santa fell off a roof, iyour/i roof. You read the card, you put on the suit. That clearly falls under the Santa Clause. Now you're Santa, okay?!" Bernard said getting upset again. Voltaire just stood there next to him incase he needed back up.

"A question," said Scott looking back and forth between the two elves in front of him.

"What?" snapped Bernard.

"When can I get out of here?" Scott said.

"Dad, you got to see this place," said Charlie running up. Voltaire was thankful he didn't see Bernard's scene. Bernard sighed, and Voltaire decided to step in.

"You leave tomorrow morning. You will have eleven months to get your affairs in order and you're due back here Thanksgiving," she said crossing her arms.

"I'm not coming back here on Thanksgiving," said Scott.

"We'll ship the list to your house," replied Bernard through clenched teeth.

"What list?" said Scott.

"Come on, now. The list," said Bernard really not wanting anyone to break into song, especially not himself. Scott pressed on for an explanation. Bernard hesitated and Voltaire but a hand on his chest to stop him.

"He's making a list," she sang.

"Checking it twice," filled in Charlie.

"Going to find out who's naughty or nice," chorused the elves.

"Ugh, okay, you put a 'P' next to the kids who are nice and a 'C' next to the naughty ones," said Bernard.

" 'P' and 'C'?" questioned Scott.

"Yeah! 'P' for present and 'C' for coal. Right?" said Charlie looking up at Bernard with hopeful eyes. Voltaire noticed and smiled, this boy looked up to Bernard.

"Yeah, that's right," said Bernard and he turned and stared to walk away again.

"Wait a minute, how do I know who's good and who's bad," questioned Scott some more.

"You'll know," said Bernard getting really tired.

"What if I don▓t want to do this?" Not the thing to say to a grumpy elf. Bernard immediately rounded on him and Voltaire gave Scott a stern look.

"Don't even kid about a thing like that!" said an angry Bernard.

"Why not? What if I don't buy into this Santa Claus thing? What is I choose not to believe it?" he said whimsically. Bernard looked very disappointed and Voltaire put an arm around his shoulder and he put and hand on her waist for support. The whole workshop went silent and all the elves turned to watch.

"Then there will be millions of disappointed children around the world. You see, children hold the spirit of Christmas within their hearts. You wouldn't want to be responsible for killing the spirit of Christmas, now would you, Santa?" Bernard then turned and started to walk away again, "Judy will take you to your room. Get out of the suit, it needs to be cleaned."

"And taken in," was the sarcastic comment of the new Santa.

"Then get some sleep. We've got a lot of work to do and only a year in which to do it." And with that Bernard disappeared down a hallway. Santa sighed and turned to look at Voltaire who was still standing there.

"So what do you do around here?" he asked turning to her.

"I'm the Head Chef," she said without emotion.

"Oh come on, do you hate me too?" he asked walking over to her.

"As of right now, yes, because as best friend to Bernard, I have to go calm him down. No wonder your wife left you and your son doesn▓t like spending time with you," she said turning to leave.

"Hold it!" Scott said grabbing her shoulder and spinning her around, "what would you know about my marriage and my son. Anyway, it's not my fault your boyfriend is so uptight, maybe you should remove the Christmas cheer that has been shoved up his ass all his life."

"No, I'd rather leave it there, because it's that Christmas cheer that will keep Christmas going, so when we get new Santa screw-ups like you, the holiday won't be gone forever. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go see to my friend and you have more elves to piss off. Judy don▓t take anything he says to heart," said Voltaire and she left after nodding good bye to Judy and Charlie who just came by on the train.

-

A/N: The story is progressing. Please leave comments and what not. 


	3. Chapter 3

Two Heads are Better then One Part 3

Not surprisingly, Voltaire found Bernard sitting at a table in the kitchen with a cup of what she could assume was her new creation. She went over and put a hand on his shoulder while sitting in the seat next to him.

"Have any of the other Santa's been that difficult to convince?" he asked quietly.

"No, they usually catch on when they see the Clause. He'll come around, thanks to you," she said rubbing his back a bit.

"Do you want some help cleaning up the kitchen?" he asked looking at her. She looked around and found that it was relatively clean and there were hardly any elves left.

"Only if you want to," she smiled at him before getting up and telling the other elves that they can go help out in the workshop. They left and she started cleaning dishes. Bernard walked over and dried the dishes. They stayed silent through it all, too worn out to talk.

That night after checking the workshop over and locking up for the vacation, returning the day after New Years, Bernard and Voltaire made their way to their apartment building. They each were holding a bag that had their dinner in it. They decided that they would spend the rest of Christmas together and cooling down, so Voltaire made dinner to go and they went to Bernard's apartment since it was bigger.

They put their dinner on the coffee table in front of the couch and sat down and ate enjoying the relaxing moment. Soon they finished and Bernard turned to Voltaire and she just looked at him confused.

"Time?" he asked. She shrugged and they both got up. Bernard went into his bed room and Voltaire quickly ran next door to retrieve the colorfully wrapped box and raced back to Bernard's apartment where he sat waiting for her on the couch and a box, wrapped and topped with a bow, next to him. She sat down and they traded boxes. This was something they did every year.

"You first," said Bernard.

"No you, I was first last year," Voltaire said.

"Because ladies always go first," replied Bernard.

"Oh come on," she complained.

"Oh all right. Let's see what you go me this year." Bernard tore off the wrapping paper and wrapped the ribbon around his wrist. He opened the box and pulled out a long wool coat and a green and red knitted scarf.

"I made both, the scarf is my first attempt at knitting. You're always my guinea pig," Voltaire shrugged.

"I love it, I love both of them. I've been meaning to get a new jacket. Out grew the old one," he said.

"Eighteen hundred years old and you're still growing."

"Yea, now open yours."

"Okay, okay," said Voltaire and she unwrapped the box and put the bow on her wrist. She moved some tissue paper aside and pulled out a leather bound book. She opened to the first page and read out loud, " 'Dear Voltaire, we've had some amazing times and I think they should always be remembered. Your best friend, Bernard.'" She turned the page and saw a picture from the first day they met at elf school. "Oh thank you so much!" She exclaimed and captured Bernard in a huge hug. He laughed and she sat directly next to him and they spent the evening flipping through and reliving all the pictures. Eventually to fall asleep on the couch.

Throughout the next year, the business of toy making was topped with the watching of Scott Calvin to make sure his Santafication process was coming along nicely. Bernard sent the list to his house in the middle of summer and continued to monitor the workshop and then things happening to Scott. Voltaire was busy as ever making new recipes and making sure Bernard didn't terrorize the elves too much.

Thanksgiving in America came and things were getting hectic in Scott Calvin's life. He still did not believe in Santa, Charlie was trying to help but when Scott was no longer allowed to see Charlie, things took a turn for the worse.

"Bernard you have to go down there," said Voltaire one evening as she swept the floor of the kitchen.

"I know, but you know how uncomfortable I am amongst the humans," he said as he leaned against a counter.

"Then don't be seen by them. Just go get Santa and bring him here. It's crunch time," she said.

"Well wish me luck," he said and with that he disappeared leaving behind a dust of glitter. Voltaire continued to sweep and not before she saw Scott Calvin, now full Santa, and Charlie standing with Bernard in the kitchen.

"When I said here, I didn't mean here, here," said Voltaire leaning the broom against the wall.

"Voltaire!" exclaimed Charlie and he ran and hugged her. She patted his head and he let go.

"Welcome back, Santa," she said and Scott turned to her and nodded. Bernard then took both of the Calvins from the kitchen and showed them all the new add-ons and what not. Voltaire went back to sweeping when Quinton walked in holding a rolled up piece of paper.

"Hey Voltaire, can I ask you for something?" he asked with his British accent. Surely you didn't think the international man, Santa Claus, would only have American elves did you? No he gets them from all over the world, but only the finest elves pass onto Santa Status.

"Sure," she said putting the broom away and then sitting next to him at the table. He unrolled the paper and Voltaire stared at the blueprint for Santa's sleigh, but there were some slight changes.

"We plan to add a special device to his sleigh just in case he gets hungry or thirsty. It will dispense cookies and hot chocolate. We decided to use your cookies and expertise in how to keep the hot chocolate war without burning it, but we decided that we will go with Judy's hot chocolate, since Santa seems to like it so much," explained Quinton.

"Fair enough, although I don't think Santa has even tasted my hot chocolate. Anyway, yea, I'll come look at it when I'm done here," said Voltaire staring some more at the plans.

"Great, thanks. Mind if I steal a cupcake to go?" he asked as he rolled up the plans and looked at the freshly baked and frosted cupcakes.

"Nope, go right ahead," she said. He took one and waved as he left the kitchen. Voltaire went and asked a few elves to do the dishes and then went and finished decorating some gingerbread houses. She then went and delivered a house to each department and noticed she had one left over. Smiling to herself she grabbed her jacket and ran to her apartment building. She pulled out a key and left the gingerbread house on the table.

Voltaire returned to the workshop and made her way to the sleigh area. She saw both Quinton and Charlie working on it. She took her coat off and walked over to Quinton to see the plans again. He explained to her what she was to do and they set to work. Soon Scott and Bernard walked by and she nodded at both of them and went back to work.

"She doesn't like me much," said Scott once they had passed our of earshot of the sleigh.

"Why do you say that?" asked Bernard dutifully walking beside him with his arms behind his back.

"Well the last thing she said to me on Christmas was very harsh," said Scott.

"What did she say?"

"Something along the lines of 'no wonder my wife left me and my son hates spending time with me' or something."

"SHE SAID WHAT?!" Yelled Bernard turning around and about to go talk to her.

"Oh come on, I know you won't do anything to her. You two are too close, plus I kind of deserve it. After I treated you and the elves, and I bugged her a lot about you being her boyfriend," said Scott scratching the back of his head.

"You said what?!" asked Bernard turning to face Scott.

"Well even now you two seem closer then┘are you sure that┘well, you aren't together?"

"Santa, we're co-workers and neighbors. We work the hardest then any other elf here naturally we are close because we are the only people awake when we have time to bond. Now Judy has something to show you in Sewing," said Bernard and he started walking forward.

That night Bernard and Voltaire went home fairly early. Voltaire was sitting on her couch in her black flannel pyjama bottoms and a white long sleeved shit and reading when she heard a knock on her door. She told them to come in and she looked up when Bernard closed the door behind him. He was wearing red flannel pyjama bottoms and a grey long sleeved shirt with his hat still perched atop his head.

"Hey, sit down," said Voltaire moving her leg so there was room on the couch. He sat and she just put her feet on his lap. He put his feet on her coffee table and leaned back.

"Did you put that gingerbread house on my table?" he asked watching her as she read.

"Maybe," was her only reply as she finished the paragraph and marked her page then put the book on the table and looked at Bernard.

"How come I always get the left-overs when you make extras?" he said as he played with the blanket that was wrapped around her legs and draped on his lap.

"Because Santa is already fat enough and you hardly eat sweets as it is. And because I love torturing you," she replied.

"Santa is afraid you don't like him, because he keeps teasing you."

"The last time I talked to him was when we had to convince him he was the new Santa, and you know how that went. And if he knows that I don't like him teasing me, why doesn't he stop?"

"TouchИ. But you don't think we act like a couple do we?"

"Not that I noticed. I thought both of us were too busy for a relationship. I always saw as best friends."

"Same."

"Aww, you're my best friend forever," cooed Voltaire and she reached over and stole his hat.

"Hey!" he said trying to reach for it but couldn't, "Fine then. I have no other choice." He then removed the blanket that was laying on them and began to tickle the now bare feet that rested on his lap.

"AH! No┘stop!" cried Voltaire between laughs and trying to get her feet free of his grasp.

"Only when I get my hat back."

"Okay," said Voltaire and she handed him his hat. He stopped his torture and picked up his hat and put it firmly back on his head. "You are evil," said Voltaire crossing her arms and bringing her feet to her.

"You are just as evil. You know I don't like people taking my hat," he said as he brought his feet up and crossed his arms as well.

"I should have never told you I was ticklish on my feet."

"Too late now. So want to help me eat a gingerbread house?"

-

A/N: One more part till the first movie is over, but the second and third movie will still be under the same story, rather then having sequels. 


	4. Chapter 4

Two Heads are Better then One Part 4

Christmas Eve. had finally arrived and the workshop was it's typical insanity in trying to finish all the wrapping and make sure that everything was set. Santa was ready and the sleigh had been completed. Now all the elves had begun to clean up. Voltaire was petting Donner, her favourite reindeer, when Santa walked in.

"Oh hello Santa," said Voltaire as she looked up at him.

"Hey Voltaire. I just wanted to make sure everything between us wasn't terrible. Sorry for pestering you," he said.

"It's okay. I take back what I said about you wife and Charlie. I was out of line by saying that."

"But it's true. Say where's Bernard? I have to take off soon."

"Probably off terrorizing some poor unsuspecting elf. He'll be here soon. In the meantime I think Comet has a gift for you," replied Voltaire as she went back to petting Donner. Santa walked over to Comet and saw the rope he as carrying.

"Is this for me?" he asked. Comet nodded, "In case I fall off a roof. Thanks."

"Ready to go Santa?" asked Bernard as he entered with a bunch of elves. They immediately started getting the reindeer secured and Charlie took his seat in the sleigh.

"Ready?" asked Santa once he was in.

"Ready," replied Charlie and off they went. Voltaire walked over and stood next to Bernard as they watched the sleigh till it was out of sight.

"Our little boy grows up so fast," joked Voltaire putting an arm around Bernard. He laughed and they walked back inside.

"Now all we have to do is wait. The Millers have almost every policemen looking for Santa," said Bernard.

"Another long Christmas?" asked Voltaire sighing as they went to the main control room and sat down.

"Yep," said Bernard. Judy and Quinton entered as well.

"I'll go get us some drinks," said Voltaire. She left and headed to the kitchen. Decided that hot chocolate would most likely put them to sleep, she decided on making some Italian sodas. She had made them before and it was a hit so why not. She returned and distributed the drinks then sat down next to Bernard and watched Judy as she listened to how Santa was doing.

Shortly after, Judy came running in with some bad news.

"Santa is at the Millers but he is not responding," said Judy.

"Well time to deport the EL.F.S." said Quinton as he turned to Bernard. He put his drink down and rang the signal. Down the hall they could hear the EL.F.S. take to the sky and fly to go save Santa.

"I'm going to go get us something to eat," said Voltaire. She returned to the kitchen with ease. All the other elves had retired for the evening. She quickly put some snacks on a plate and brought it back. Quinton thanked her and immediately took a cupcake. Bernard smiled at her and took a cookie.

Soon there was news that Santa and Charlie had both arrived at the Millers and there was talk that Charlie was to stay there. Bernard suddenly stood up and threw on the coat and scarf Voltaire had made him the Christmas before. Voltaire grabbed her coat and scarf and together they went to the Millers house. Not being able to resist their dinner Bernard grabbed the pita sandwich that was on the table and took a bite into it and walked over with Voltaire who was staring skeptically at him. He shrugged and they made their way over to where Santa, Charlie, his mum, and Neil were by the fireplace.

"What's all this boo-hooing going on here? Hey, how ya doing?" asked Bernard with a mouth full of food as he walked up with Voltaire. Neil jumped back against the wall when he saw the two.

"It's nothing Bernard, Voltaire. I'm just saying good-bye to Charlie," said Santa turning to face them.

"You don't need to say good-bye," said Voltaire.

"Charlie, do you still have that glass ball I gave you?" asked Bernard.

"Yeah," he replied with a sad look on his face.

"Well all you got to do it shake it whenever you want to see your dad," explained Bernard.

"Really?" asked Charlie with a smile on his face now.

"He can come back to see you anytime day or night," replied Voltaire.

"Hey, have we ever steered you wrong?" asked Bernard as he wrapped his sandwich free arm around Voltaire's shoulders. Charlie just shook his head 'no'. Bernard then looked over at Neil who was intensely staring at the two elves. "Nice sweater, hey did we make this?" he asked as he pulled on the tag of Neil sweater to see.

"Laura, he's sucking us into his delusions," said Neil as Bernard continued to try to read the tag, "Look at the elaborate measures he's taken." Bernard tried to take another bite of the sandwich but Neil took it from him and Voltaire laughed at Bernard's confused face.

"Neil, relax," said Laura. Bernard put his arm back around Voltaire's shoulder and they both disappeared back to the North Pole.

"Everything okay?" asked Quinton.

"Yep, everything should be fine for the rest of the night," said Voltaire, "come on Bernard, I'll go make you a sandwich."

"On pita bread?" he asked as they walked towards the kitchen.

"Yes, on pita," said Voltaire with a slight chuckle, "did you take food from them when you visited on Thanksgiving?"

"Yes, a turkey leg but they have not heard of basting. It was too dry," he said, "you taught me that."

"You have learned well, young grasshopper, but you are not a master yet," said Voltaire as they entered the kitchen.

"By the way I have fallen in love with this jacket. And I say I look quite fashionable in it," said Bernard twirling around.

"Well I'm glad you like it. You could have told me a little sooner that you like it, instead of waiting a year but whatever works for you," said Voltaire as she pulled out some supplies. Bernard went over and watched her make him a sandwich.

That night Santa returned safely and thanked Voltaire and Bernard for their help. Then he forced them to go home and get some rest. They took some hot chocolate with peppermint in it into Bernard's apartment. Voltaire quickly disappeared to her apartment to get his gift. Coming back she saw Bernard sitting on the couch running his hand through his curls. Voltaire sat on the couch and ran a hand through his curls as well.

"Your curls are more entertaining then mine," she said as she looked down at her curly hair.

"But curly hair is more suiting on a female then a male," said Bernard putting his hat back on.

"Your curls suit you. Do you sleep with that hat on too?" she asked. Bernard looked down.

"Sometimes," was his reply. She just laughed and placed her gift on his lap. He handed her his gift and she opened it. Inside was a gingerbread house that had a bunch of silver and green vine designs running around it and she smiled.

"How fitting," she said with a little chuckle.

"Look inside," he said. Voltaire peaked inside through the door that was cut out and saw two gingerbread people. One was the girl decorated to look like her, the other decorated to look like Bernard, hat and all. She laughed some more and then looked some more and saw a necklace wrapped around the two figures. She reached in and pulled out the chain. It was a thin silver chain and on it was a bright green leaf charm. It shined in the lamplight and she held it delicately in her hand.

"Thank you so much, this is so beautiful, and the house is well decorated. But how did you get this past me?" she asked looking at him. He took the necklace from her and she turned her back to him so he could put it on.

"Well I have acquaintances in the kitchen and they were more then happy to supply me with a few supplies and tips," he said as he place the necklace on around her neck and she turned around and smiled down at the necklace.

"And where did you find this?" she asked.

"Mother Nature actually gave it to me a few years ago and said that when the time is ready I'd know when and who to give it to," he shrugged.

"Well thank you, it is very pretty," said Voltaire and she hugged him, "now open your gift." He tore off the wrapping paper and pulled out several smaller boxes, all different colours. He opened the first one, an orange box and looked inside.

"What is it?" he asked pulling out a plastic bag full of light brown powder.

"Instant hot chocolate. That particular one is the orange one you favour so much," she said. He smiled and placed the four boxes on the table and lifted up what was left. He unfolded it and it was deep maroon, velvet shirt. He held it up and a necklace fell on his lap. He looked at it and smiled.

"What's wrong with this shirt?" he asked indicating the red shirt he was now wearing.

"It is getting a little too small for you, and your necklace keeps breaking," said Voltaire. He smiled her and hugged her.

"Thanks, saves me the trouble of having to go out a buy a new one," he said. She smiled and took the necklace from his lap and he turned his back to her so she could put it on. When she was done she stole his hat and place it on her head and put her hat on his head.

"Your hat is nice," she said.

"And your hat is too girly for me," he said taking it off his head.

"Well excuse me," she said pouting.

"Hat or I'll tickle you again," he said holding his hand out. She reluctantly placed his hat in his hand and took her hat back. They sat there for a bit before Voltaire yawned.

"Well I think I'm going to go hit the sack. I plan to sleep through this vacation. You're welcome to join me," she said.

"I have to make sure Santa is all settled in," he sighed.

"Bummer. Well see you whenever and thank you for the gifts they are fantastic," she said as she stood up. He stood up and she hugged him.

"And thank you for the gifts as well. Those chocolates are probably only going to last through vacation if their lucky," he said. She laughed and picked up the gingerbread house. She smiled at Bernard before leaving to her own apartment.

-

A/N: That concludes the first movie. I am going to type out all of the second movie story and then post all those at once OR you can request that I post each part as I finish it. Leave comment to decide. 


	5. Chapter 5

Two Head are Better then One Part 5

Another year was once again coming quickly to an end. It was mid-November when Voltaire received a letter from her mum in the mail. Apparently she wanted to visit. Voltaire sighed and dreaded the day when her mum would arrive. It wasn▓t that she didn▓t love her mum, but she nagged her about getting a husband and settling down like most elves her age had already done. That's why everyone in the workshop looked a lot younger then her and Bernard.

It was late at night when her mum's shuttle came in. Not all elves had magic, and so there were special elf shuttles that went all around the world, undetected by humans. Her mum's shuttle came in at four in the morning and Voltaire put on a smile as her mum walked out carrying a bag.

"There she is," said her mum as she raced over and hugged her daughter.

"Hi mum, here let me get this for you. So how was the trip?" Voltaire asked as she took her mum's bag and they began to walk to Voltaire's apartment building.

"Long, and tiresome. All I want is to prop my feet up and take a long hot shower," she said.

"Well I think that can be arranged."

"So how have you been. I hardly hear from you anymore."

"Busy as usual. You really didn't come at a good time."

"Well I'm only here for a few days, I'm sure you don't mind a few days delay."

"You don't expect me to stay home with you while you▓re here do you? Because I'm sorry I can't. Bernard would explode without someone there to calm him down."

"Ah, Bernard. How are things between you two?"

"Just fine."

"Fine or better then fine."

"Mum not now," groaned Voltaire as she held open the door to the apartment building for her mum and followed her up the stairs.

"I'm just saying, you're both the perfect age, seem to get along well, and both single," she replied.

"In," was all Voltaire said as she opened her apartment door. She put her mum's bag in her bedroom and grabbed a few blankets out of the closet and spread them on the couch where she was sleeping.

"Well I'm going to have something to eat, take a shower, and sleep," said her mum.

"And I have to get up early tomorrow, so I'm going to sleep. If you need anything, please try to find it yourself, or ask in the morning," said Voltaire. Her mum nodded and watched her daughter go in to her bedroom. Voltaire changed into her pyjamas then went to sleep on the couch.

Voltaire only got an hour of sleep before she had to get up. She grabbed her clothes and went to go take a shower. She realized her mum must have only just gone to bed to there was no hot water left, and being in the North Pole, one does not take cold showers. Voltaire sighed and then went next door and knocked on Bernard's door. He opened the door only wearing his pyjama bottoms and had a towel on his head trying to dry his hair.

"Voltaire? What are you doing here so early?" he asked.

"My mum is visiting and used up all the hot water. Do you mind if I use your shower?" she asked.

"Yea sure," he said. She walked in and he closed the door.

"Thanks," she said and walked over to his bathroom and pulled out a towel from the shelf and took her hot shower. She came out fully dressed with her hair slightly dried. Bernard was ready to go and waiting for her. She nodded at him and they both left for the workshop. Voltaire made them some breakfast and they silently ate it, afterwards parting and going to work. Voltaire fired up the oven and the baking process began. Other chef elves came in and the work had begun, then a crisis occurred. They had to go in to Elfcon 1. Voltaire made sure the kitchen was soundless when they heard the plane approaching. Then they all heard music playing.

"Oh god," whispered Voltaire, "stay quiet all of you." She quickly left the bakery and headed to where she heard the music. Halfway there she met up with Santa and Bernard. They found the noise coming from Curtis who was laid back in the sleigh playing a dancing Santa. Santa put a hand over his mouth and turned the dancing Santa off, stopping the music. They all waited silently.

"We are in Elfcon 4 All clear," came a voice through the intercom. Bernard let out a breath and Voltaire leaned on the sleigh.

"Curtis, what do you say we get you a nice set of head phones this Christmas," said Santa patting him on the shoulder, "it's all right everybody. Let's get back to work." They watched for a moment as the elves went back to tending to the reindeer.

"Curtis, you're nine hundred years old, grow up!" said Bernard staring down at the number two. Voltaire just shook her head at him.

"Bernard," said Santa. Bernard huffed and grabbed onto Voltaire's wrist and they ran over and caught up with Santa, still not a great mood.

"Voltaire why did you turn down the job as number two?" asked Bernard rubbing his temples.

"I told you before I love to torture you," she smirked at him.

"I was actually wondering that myself. You do a lot around here," said Santa turning to look at her.

"My passion is in the kitchen but if I need help then I help," shrugged Voltaire. They were now walking around outside, heading back to the workshop when Curtis finally caught up to them.

"You know I didn't break any of the rules. According to the Santa Handbook-" started Curtis. Voltaire and Bernard rolled their eyes at the mention of the only thing Curtis will ever love. Santa just waved at passing elves.

"Oh the Handbook. Curtis do you go pee pee with that thing?" asked Bernard, his hands planted firmly on his hips.

"Elves are encouraged to listen to music. It lifts their spirits and makes them more creative, more productive, and well, more alert- WATCH OUT!" yelled Curtis and the four of them ducked as a tan blur flew over them just barely missing their heads. They heard laughing and quickly stood up to see a reindeer fall out of the sky.

"Okay," said Santa still looking over in the area where the reindeer had fallen, "is he alright?"

"He's okay Santa!" yelled and elf over by the fallen creature.

"Wow that's going to leave a mark. Is that Blitzen? Looks like Prancer. Who is that?" asked Santa trying to see.

"It was Chet," said Curtis.

"Who?" asked Voltaire.

"He's one of our reindeer in training," said Curtis with a smile. Voltaire shuddered at the thought of relying on that reindeer to help fly the sleigh with Santa in it.

"Oh, well please tell me that it is early in his training. Wow nice fall," said Santa and he patted Bernard's shoulder before heading into the workshop. Bernard kept a smile on his face and then turned to glare down at Curtis.

"Curtis when are you going to tell him?" he asked.

"Not now," said Curtis sternly and then ran away. Bernard glanced at Voltaire and they both chased after the little elf. Soon enough they caught up with Santa and Curtis. Voltaire was walking next to Santa and Bernard when Santa stopped and started sniffing the air.

"What is it?" asked Voltaire sniffing as well. Santa then leaned over and started to smell her. "Um┘Santa?"

"Sorry, but you smell like," he paused and then smelled Bernard, "like Bernard. Did all my teasing finally trigger something?" he asked playfully.

"No, Santa, he is not my boyfriend," said Voltaire.

"Could have fooled me," mumbled Curtis and Bernard shoved him.

"My mum is visiting and used up all my hot water so I used his shower. Does us smelling the same really matter that much? What if we had happened to have bought the same soap or something?" asked Voltaire crossing her arms.

"I was just curious. I want to know how my two favourite elves are doing," said Santa putting his hands up in protest.

"Hey!" said Curtis.

"After this mornings stunt how can you think you'd still be one of his favourite elves?" asked Bernard crossing his arms and staring down at Curtis.

"Santa can you come look at this car?" asked an elf.

"Right away," said Santa getting away from the quarreling. Curtis followed after him while Voltaire and Bernard hung back a bit.

"Any idea what that was about?" he asked.

"I don't know but it was really awkward to have your boss smelling you," replied Voltaire.

"Yeah. Well let's just try to forget it ever happened. Do you have to get back to the kitchen or do you want to come with us on rounds?" asked Bernard.

"I want to be there when Curtis gives the news and who knows when that will be," said Voltaire with a shrug. Bernard nodded and they walked over to where Santa had got the car to start working. He then went around and one of the chefs came up to him.

"Do you want a cookie, Santa?" she asked.

"Do I want a cookie? Yes. What's fresh," he asked.

"Give him one of the sugar cookies you just made," said Voltaire. Santa took it and thanked her. She nodded to her head chef and went back to the kitchen. "I never knew they did deliveries. When did that start?" Voltaire wondered out loud. Bernard laughed a bit and then they continued on their way. Eventually they came to a balcony.

"Hey Joey, how's that static free tinsel coming?" asked Santa.

"Hew guys, Santa wants to see the new tinsel," Joey said over his shoulder. Within seconds Bernard, Santa, and Voltaire were covered in tinsel. Curtis was standing behind the group and avoided it. The elves above them were laughing at them and Bernard and Voltaire turned to face each other.

"You know I could go up there and take of this the ugly way, or we go outside and play some tinsel football," said Santa. The elves cheered and they headed out. Voltaire never liked football. It was the American version of football, you know the one where they kick the ball like five times a game or so the rest of the time you use you hands, she never understood why it was called football either.

Voltaire threw the tinsel off of her and got rid of and tinsel in her hair that she saw. Bernard threw the pile of tinsel off himself and turned to Curtis.

"Curtis, you need to tell him right now!" said Bernard shaking a finger in front of him. Voltaire stood beside Bernard nodding her head. Curtis looked between the two of them.

"I don't know. He's so happy right now," he said calmly and then pointed a finger back at Bernard, "why do I have to be the one to tell him?"

"Because, I'm the head elf I don't give bad news, it's one of the perks of my seniority," he fired back with a smile.

"What about Voltaire?" Curtis tried.

"Don't being me into this, I'm only here for the show. Plus I'm a chef, what would I know about the clauses?" she asked feigning innocence and Bernard smiled at her and then turned to Curtis.

"Now tell him," said Bernard and he grabbed Curtis by the shoulder and dragged him outside. The game was just starting when they arrived.

"Seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying," yelled one elf with the ball.

"Five golden rings!" yelled the watching elves.

"Hike!" yelled the football holding elf. The game began and all too soon Santa had been defeated and landed sitting down in front of the three elves that he knew the most.

"No matter how many times they run that play I never see it coming," whined Santa still sitting on the ground. 


	6. Chapter 6

Two Heads are Better then One Part 6

"Santa, we need to talk," said Bernard with a serious face. Voltaire helped Santa get up and they made their way to Santa's room, Curtis had disappeared in the process of getting there. While walking Voltaire got the rest of the tinsel out of Bernard's hair and he did the same with her. Santa just watched their actions inconspicuously and then he went and changed his pants. Bernard went and got his jacket while Santa pulled his pants out.

"These fit yesterday," said Santa showing that he had some weight loss.

"Uh oh," commented the two puppets. She then watched as the two puppets then made hand motions. The female pointed to Voltaire and the male pointed to Bernard. Voltaire was confused until suddenly they collided to it look like they were kissing. Voltaire turned away and rolled her eyes. Then Abby walked in.

"Now's not a good time Abby," said Bernard. She was the new assistant to Santa since Judy moved with the guy from wrapping that she was seeing and now worked outside the workshop at a shoe shop. They were planned to be married the coming vacation.

"I sent Ashley down to get some Brazilian cocoa beans," said Abby.

"You did what? You know those are very limited," said Voltaire remembering her last nights stocks add up. Santa walked over to his desk and Bernard stood by Voltaire.

"Uh oh," he whispered in her ear. Voltaire nodded.

"What's the bad news?" asked Santa, catching on as well.

"What do you mean?" asked Abby, lying wasn▓t her strong point.

"Whenever you play the designer bean card, generally you have bad news," replied Santa. Abby looked sad and handed him a piece of rolled up paper. "What are you doing with the naughty and nice list?"

"Just don't shoot the messenger," she said, "it's Charlie." Voltaire knew immediately what was wrong and grabbed onto Bernard's sleeve, he put an arm around her shoulder.

"Sheen? I thought he straightened up," said Santa. Voltaire look slightly shocked at what Santa had said.

"Not that Charlie," said Abby now a little uncomfortable.

"My Charlie. My son Charlie? He's on the naughty list?" asked Santa and Abby just nodded. They puppets got in their two cents by screaming and then hiding in their curtains. Bernard just sighed. "There's got to be a mistake," said Santa not believe it yet.

"We don▓t make mistakes. I'm sorry Santa, please excuse me," said Abby and she walked away with her head down. That was when Curtis entered with the magnifying glasses.

"How could this happen, is this what you two and Curtis have been trying to tell me?" asked Santa looking at the list and Bernard and Voltaire walked over to Curtis.

"Great you told him!" exclaimed Curtis, "let's get you dressed for that meeting."

"I can't have the meeting here. I really can't. I have to go see Charlie," he said as Bernard tied the sash on the jacket and Voltaire looked accusingly over at Curtis.

"Number two you have to tell him right now," said Bernard.

"Tell me what? Guys come on, come clean," said Santa.

"Santa, there's a clause," said Curtis. Voltaire rolled her eyes at how vague he put it.

"Yea, and that would be me," said Santa confused.

"Now I mean there's another Santa clause," said Curtis.

"Curtis, in case you haven't notice, this time of year, the malls are filled with other 'Santa Claus's'," replied Santa realizing what a waste of time Curtis can really be.

"Yes, but there's another Santa iClause/i," said Curtis, "there was a first clause but there is also a second clause."

"Get on with it!" shouted the puppets. And Voltaire sighed and dropped her head on top Bernard's shoulder, in similar fashion as one would do while banging their head on a wall at the stupidity of another's actions.

"When the last Santa Claus fell of your roof and you put on his coat you found this," said Curtis and brought out the business card and put it in a slot at the end of the magnifying glasses.

"Right, he who wears the coat takes on the responsibility of Santa Claus, something like that, and the rest would be history right," said Santa and he turned to look at Bernard and Voltaire.

"But it seems, our number two elf, the keeper of the Handbook," he said and they both turned to face Curtis, who shrunk under their gaze, "forgot the single most important detail in the history of Christmas!"

"Wow, one mistake in nine hundred years," replied Curtis. Voltaire rolled her eyes and Bernard huffed and turned to Santa.

"Look," he said and lifted up a glass.

"I can't see that," said Santa.

"Better now?" asked Bernard lifting another.

"Um," was the intelligent reply.

"Or now?"

""Well."

"Better now?"

"It's getting there."

"Or now?"

"I can't see anything," declared Santa. Bernard then lifted the largest glass.

"I see, good, good, good. Okay," said Santa. Curtis came around to one side of Santa and Bernard and Voltaire leaned over on the other to read the writing as well. "The cardholder acknowledges, woman of his choosing, true love, not valid in the state of Utah. Holy┘matrimony?! I got to get married!"

"Yes," said Bernard and he looked over at Voltaire, who stared at him back, "it's, the Mrs. Clause." And the puppets kindly supplied the wedding march. Santa just glanced at them and them put on his belt.

"What if I don't want to get married?" asked Santa and he pulled at his belt and soon found that the belt was too big for him.

"Oh dear. The de-Santafication process has begun!" yelled Curtis.

"The de-Santafication?" asked Santa slowly while looking at Curtis and then switched his gaze to Bernard and Voltaire," are you telling me that in that clause, it says that if I don't get married, I don't get to be Santa anymore?" Bernard shifted his feet and Voltaire just looked down. Santa sighed, "w-wha-what about the kids? What- what about that elves?" he asked as he went and sat down. "What about you guys?" he asked looking at them three of them.

"It's not completely hopeless, sir. You still have time to find a wife," said Bernard.

"Well how much time do I have, Curtis?" he asked looking over at the shorter elf.

"Twenty-eight days," said Curtis bluntly.

"Twenty-eight days. So I have to find a wife by Christmas," he said putting a false happy face.

"Actually, Christmas Eve," butted in Curtis. Santa sighed.

"I guess it's over," declared Santa.

"No! You can't think that way! Please don▓t give up hope. 'Cause if you do┘then we have to," Curtis said. Bernard put an arm around Voltaire's shoulders and they both sighed, along with the puppets. Then they watched in horror as Santa's beard began to shrink right before their eyes. The puppets got over their depression and screamed.

"Whoa," said Curtis.

"Christmas is getting very complicated," said Santa sadly.

"We should give him some time to think before the meeting," said Voltaire. The others nodded and they all left his room. Voltaire put her arm around Bernard's waist and he kept his arm around her shoulders as they silently followed behind Curtis as he pushed the glasses away. Once in the kitchen Voltaire sighed as they sat down at a table.

"Curtis makes me so mad some times. If only he told Santa earlier then he would have had time to find a wife," said Bernard clenching his fist.

"This particular Santa is a hand full isn't he?" said Voltaire. She sighed and went and got both of them a hot chocolate and a piece of cake.

"Another long Christmas," said Bernard before taking a bite of his cake. Voltaire nodded her head in agreement.

-

A/N: This one was kind of short, the parts will vary. Some will be long, some short. Just bare with me, and please keep reading. Thanks. 


	7. Chapter 7

Two Heads are Better then One Part 7

After the meeting of legendary figures Santa told a brief over view of what happened to Bernard, Voltaire and Curtis who were with him in the New Invention Room, but soon he got back to the matter at hand.

"I can't be in two places at once!" he exclaimed, tossing his arms in the air.

"Maybe you can be. Hey everyone can I have the room for a minute?" Curtis asked the other elves, " just one minute, please? Thank you. Take a cocoa break. Relax. Have a nice long break." The other elves in the room left and the door sealed shut. Curtis and Santa then when off and started talking about the machine and the only thing that stuck in Voltaire's mind was that he tripled the ram, which meant it was more powerful.

"What a minute, I see where this is going and I am not getting in that thing," said Santa.

"Exactly, creating a copy of Santa won't solve our problems," said Bernard, "it would be a toy."

"So it will look fake," said Voltaire.

"And that elves would know," said Santa.

"But this would be a very special toy," informed Curtis.

"How's that, Curtis?" asked Santa, not believing him.

"Okay, I added a fuzzy logic circuit to the pantogram. The duplicate with look and think just like you, so when you're with your family, dealing with Charlie, and looking for a wife-" said Curtis.

"The toy Santa will be here melting by my fireplace," added Santa.

"No, the toy Santa will be dealing with business here," said Curtis.

"This is all unnecessary. Bernard can deal with business up here and I am willing to help him," protested Voltaire.

"If the elves found out we've made a switch," said Bernard and he put his hands up to his face and made a shocked face, "No! No! This machine is not the answer." All of a sudden a clatter was heard and they all watched a mouse climb into the machine and the machine started. They all ran to the other side to see the outcome. Two mice came down the belt and scampered away.

"Look you can't get much better then that, and I promise, it won't hurt a bit," said Curtis. Santa took a moment to think then blurted out:

"I'm going in."

"Oh, I can't watch this," said Bernard. Voltaire just shook her heard as she watched Santa jog to the other side and step onto the conveyer belt. Bernard when over to a side of the room and Voltaire followed. He turned to look as Santa slowly entered the machine and put his hand over Voltaire's eyes and turned them around. They all looked to see Santa come out.

"It's perfect!" exclaimed Curtis.

"That's because it's me, Einstein," replied Santa. The three elves ran over to Santa and Bernard immediately started acting like a nurse, asking if he was fine or not. While Santa was still turned towards the elves he didn▓t see the horror that came out of the machine. Bernard and Curtis screamed while Voltaire quickly turned around and put her face in Bernard's chest.

"I've been scarred for life," she mumbled as Bernard patted her back. Santa turned around and saw it as well.

"It's naked!" the three males exclaimed.

"I don't think I can ever look at you the same way, Santa," said Voltaire hoping that Bernard's shirt was a magical eraser that can erase images from people's minds.

"Put her out of her misery, throw something over him," said Santa. Bernard reached behind him and grabbed a sheet that was there.

"It's incredible," said Curtis with a happy smile.

"Yes, it is," Santa said waving his arms in front of toy Santa's face. Bernard draped the sheet over the toy and then returned to Voltaire who still did not face the toy nor open her eyes. "Um, can he talk?" asked Santa. Curtis just motioned for him to. "Hello?" Santa asked. The only reply he got was some grumbling noise that somewhat sounded like a baby. "Hello?" Santa asked again. Then the toy opened its eyes and focused on Santa.

"Hello?" it replied. Curtis smile and Bernard was shocked.

"Ho ho ho," said Santa.

"Ho ho ho," replied the toy Santa much more slowly.

"Not bad," said Santa admiring the toy.

"Not bad yourself," replied the toy. Santa chuckled and looked over at the smiling Curtis.

"I can't put my finger on it, but there's something about you that I like," laughed Santa.

"There's something about you that I like," repeated the toy.

"Huh," said Santa and both him and the toy turned to look at Curtis and then back to look at each other, " you watch him, I'll be right back."

"He's coming right back," informed the toy Santa and Curtis laughed.

"Hopefully with some clothes!" yelled Voltaire, who still had her face hidden in Bernard's chest.

"You two come with me," said Santa and he grabbed onto Voltaire and Bernard's sleeves.

"Thank you," said Voltaire happily out of site of the toy.

"I need your help with this. I have to go see Charlie, and I want you two to convince the elves that┘toy Santa is me," said Santa.

"Uh, hmmm. Have you seen that thing?" asked Bernard

"I've seen it. I think if you keep the elves at a distance and tell them that I changed my look, it'll work," he tried.

"Oh, Santa, we're in way over our heads here. If anybody can do this, it's you two, Number One, Head Chef," he said.

"Head Chef sounds like nothing compared to Number One," replied Voltaire looking at Santa skeptically.

"You feed everyone, the should respect for that," said Santa.

"Not everyone has an appetite like you, Santa," said Voltaire.

"Plus, I'm not going to lie to all the elves!" said Bernard.

"Just go!" said Santa and he shoved the two through the doors. They looked at each other and headed to the balcony.

"Everyone we have an announcement to make. Santa has changed his looks," said Voltaire as the elves gathered and fell silent.

"I, myself, think he looks absolutely terrific, better, and fresher somehow, then he has in years. There is now more supple veneer to his skin and an added luster of thickness of his hair," said Bernard.

"You could almost say there's a-a toy like quality to him, to help him get more into the holiday spirit," filled in Voltaire.

"Most importantly, he's very happy with his new look and I would caution you all not to point or stare or use the word 'plastic' okay? Okay. Thank you. That's it. That's all. Back to work please," said Bernard. Curtis was smirking up at them as he watched Bernard and Voltaire sigh.

"You aren't really good with the whole lying thing," Voltaire said to him as they made their way away from the main workshop area.

"I know, but it seemed to have worked," said Bernard.

"Well go say bye to the real Santa for me, I think it's high time I get myself back into the kitchen and try to picture something other then, well you know," said Voltaire as she turned to walk through the kitchen doors.

"Good luck with that," said Bernard before walking over to the reindeer pen.

-

A/N: This movie is a lot longer then I realized. So it will probably be more then four parts. Thanks for reading. 


	8. Chapter 8

Two Heads are Better then One Part 8

The evening Voltaire had walked home with Bernard and a cup of hot chocolate each. Bernard was telling her about all the things that had happened with toy Santa and Curtis during the rest of his day.

"Well I personally don't ever want to have to see toy Santa again," said Voltaire as they reached their apartments.

"Image still fresh in your mind?" he asked her.

"Yep," Voltaire nodded. That's when her apartment door flew open and they stared as her mum stood there.

"Well don't stand there all day, come in," she said. She went into the hallway and pushed the two elves into Voltaire's apartment.

"Mum, Bernard needs to go home and get some sleep, I need sleep too!" protested Voltaire as he mum pushed them down on the couch and she sat down in the recliner.

"I just want to talk to you two. It has been so long. How was work?" she asked. Bernard stared at Voltaire with a questioning face before turning towards her mum.

"It was busy, for all of us," he said with a polite tone.

"Well hopefully it will be calmer tomorrow," her mum said smiling at the two.

"Doubtful," replied Voltaire.

"Well I did some ask around today and I hear you two are practically inseparable. Is there something that you didn't tell your mum, Voltaire?" she asked in an accusing voice.

"For the last time, no we are not dating. Why can't I have a close friend that is a guy, no sexual feeling attached hmm?" said Voltaire finally cracking. Bernard turned a little red when she mentioned sexual feelings, her mum noticed.

"Well then why were you over at his apartment this morning?" she asked.

"Because you used up all the hot water in the shower. Mum, really can we just get some sleep. Tomorrow and the rest of this holiday season is going to be really busy for us," said Voltaire.

"All right sweetie. You know I am worried that you'll work yourself silly, but at least you have a close friend. I just wanted to spend a little bit of time with you two before I leave tomorrow. Your father called and says he gets and early vacation this year," she said.

"I'm sorry I blew up at you. It really has been great seeing you mum," said Voltaire after she calmed down some bit.

"You should visit again and hopefully by then we can spend more time together," said Bernard. Her mum smiled at him.

"Thank you, you are quite the gentlemen. Well I'll let you two get some sleep," she said. Voltaire walked Bernard to the door and he left. Voltaire went into her bedroom before walking out and going to the front door.

"Where are you going young lady?" her mum asked.

"I left my pyjamas at Bernard's," Voltaire grumbled before leaving the apartment. Her mum laughed a bit and sipped on her tea. Yes she had walked around that day and happened to run into a certain legendary figure whose holiday was celebrated in the middle of February. No doubt she would be seeing her daughter and Bernard soon.

Things were definitely getting stranger and more hectic around the workshop. One morning Voltaire entered the kitchen to see toy Santa eating a bowl of waxed fruit. She immediately went and got Bernard, who came and took Santa out of the kitchen and gave Voltaire a look that just screamed 'help me'. She shook her head and patted Bernard on the shoulder.

"That thing is just too creepy," said Voltaire as she and Bernard were walking home.

"It is taking up too much of my time. This is just plain hot chocolate," said Bernard looking down at his cup of hot chocolate.

"Yes, I haven't had time to make any new flavours, and Santa keeps drinking all my other ones. Do you know how much hot chocolate he had before we left today?" asked Voltaire getting slightly angry.

"I am going to guess a large amount," said Bernard shaking his head and taking another sip of his hot chocolate.

"Three gallons! Three! I don't even want to know where he puts it all, he's a toy! You better keep Curtis away from me, because I'm going to kill him the next time I see him! Starting tomorrow there are only four days till Christmas and it seems that Santa, the real one, is no where near close to finding a wife. We're screwed," said Voltaire finally letting loose all that she had kept pent up. Bernard just put an arm around her shoulder and sighed.

"I feel the same way. But we can't lose hope, the real Santa was counting us to keep things going up here," said Bernard.

"I just feel more stressed this holiday season then I ever have. I just need to get this all over with," said Voltaire as she wrapped her arm around Bernard's waist and put her head down.

"Hey, calm down," said Bernard as he stopped and put his hands on her shoulders and faced her, "just take a deep breath and relax. You're going to get a good night's sleep and tomorrow everything will be much better. I'll keep toy Santa and Curtis away form the kitchen, and I'll help you make a lot of hot chocolate in the morning." Voltaire just nodded and sighed. Bernard sighed after her and they walked up to their apartment building.

"Thanks Bernard, I'll see you tomorrow," she said. Bernard just hugged her and she gave a weak smile to him.

"Go get some sleep, you'll need it," he said and they parted and went into their apartments.

The next day, though was when all the horrors any elf could possibly think of happened. That morning Bernard and Voltaire just completely forgot about all the problems and together made gallons and gallons of hot chocolate. Soon Curtis came in to get some cookies but Bernard hurriedly pushed him out of the kitchen when Voltaire saw number two and she was left to finish making the hot chocolate.

She left the kitchen at one time to go find Bernard to ask him how things were going when she saw toy Santa standing on the balcony overlooking the workshop wearing a military uniform. He had stopped the workshop progress by turning the power off and everyone was staring at him.

"Merry Christmas. That's nice. I have an announcement to make, from this moment on, we aren't going to make anymore toys," he declared. Voltaire was shocked and immediately walked over to where Bernard was.

"What's going on?" she whispered.

"I don't know," he replied back and they turned their attention to toy Santa.

"Children of the world don▓t deserve these presents. They're running rampant with naughtiness. So for this Christmas, we're going to give them exactly what they deserve," he said and reached over to a bag next to him and pulled out a black lump, "a beautiful, high-quality, yet low sulfur variety of coal." The elves were shocked. "Quiet! We have to focus, all of us, on the goals ahead. And just to make sure that happens. I-I hate to blow my own horn," he said and blew a fog horn. Then out came marching toy soldiers, all tall and ugly. Voltaire and Bernard were trying to calm all the elves as toy Santa was saying more. The toys were taking over Christmas.

"Bernard do something," said Voltaire and she stood in front of some of her chefs.

"Don't listen to him. This guy is not Santa!" yelled Bernard. The elves were now even more shocked.

"He's a toy!" yelled Voltaire now joining Bernard side and helping to explain.

"He has a rubbed face and plastic tushy!" Bernard yelled again. Toy Santa made a movement and toy soldiers moved over to them.

"Trust us! He's a fake!" yelled Voltaire as the toy soldiers began to take Bernard and her away.

"Don't let him ruin Christmas!" was the last thing Bernard got in before they were taken out of the workshop. They were led to their apartment building and shoved into Bernard's apartment. Voltaire ran to the door to try and get out but it was locked and the doorknob wouldn't budge.

"So much for things will be better today," said Voltaire as she sat down on the couch and put her head in her hands.

"That was the last time I will ever let Curtis do anything. His idea led us to being in house arrest!" said Bernard and he sat down on the couch next to Voltaire.

"Wait a minute, Bernard," said Voltaire picking her head up and putting a hand on Bernard's knee to get his attention.

"What is it?" he asked turning to her.

"Didn't Curtis say that he put memory of the real Santa into the toy. So they have similar thoughts and actions. That must mean that the real Santa has secretly had this way of thinking in the back of his mind," said Voltaire turning to face him.

"But the real Santa would never do this!" defended Bernard.

"I know, but I just wish there was more that we knew about Santa, it might save us," said Voltaire leaning back into the couch and sighing.

"Let's just hope that the real Santa never had perverted thoughts," said Bernard trying to make a joke but a shudder went through Voltaire when he said that.

"Why do I feel an ominous feeling?" asked Voltaire turning to look over at Bernard, who had a look of horror on his face.

-

A/N: Thanks for reading. 


	9. Chapter 9

Two Heads are Better then One Part 09

"Why don▓t you get some sleep?" asked Bernard as he noticed it was getting dark outside. He had watched Voltaire pacing around the room for the most of the day trying to think up a plan.

"But I haven't thought of anything yet. Those elves are too young and scared to stand up against toy Santa and his army. That leaves us. No. No sleeping. We have to think of something," said Voltaire and then she yawned.

"Maybe if you just rest for a bit then some good ideas will come to you," said Bernard standing and walking over to where Voltaire had stopped pacing.

"Yea, maybe," said Voltaire as she went back to trying to think of something to do. Bernard sighed and then grabbed her shoulders from behind and started to push her towards his bedroom.

"Just get some sleep and then you'll be fresh to think up some ideas and who knows, Santa might be back by then," said Bernard as he turned her around and sat her down on his bed.

"Now that is not going to happen. But thanks, Bernard, that's why you're my best friend," said Voltaire as she started to take her shoes off.

"Yep, do you want anything, you didn't eat this evening?"

"Nah I'm good."

"Well good night," said Bernard as he headed to the door.

"Wait, I'm not taking your bed from you and making you sleep on that old couch. Your bed is big enough for both of us to sleep in," said Voltaire as she watched Bernard with a raised eyebrow.

"I know, but I just thought┘well, you know┘" Bernard trailed off.

"Don't think you are trying to be proper. I don't care Bernard. I'm not stealing your bed from you," said Voltaire as she took her hat off.

"Well if you say so," he said and walked over to the other side of the bed and began to take his shoes off. He then grabbed his pyjamas and tossed a shirt and pants to Voltaire and he walked to his bathroom and changed. Voltaire quickly changed into the big dark blue shirt and loose red pants and looked down at herself when Bernard came out and started laughing at the sight.

"I think they're just a little too big," she said.

"You think?" he asked still smiling and threw his clothes into a pile on the opposite side of the room. He laid down on his side and Voltaire slid under the covers as well. They turned the lights off and were close to falling to sleep.

"Bernard," said Voltaire, eyes still closed and snuggling into the fluffy pillow.

"Hmm?" he asked in the same position as Voltaire.

"Hat off," she mumbled. Bernard grumbled and she felt him move and something landed on her head. She opened her eyes and saw the hat on her head and Bernard smirking, trying to look like he was sleeping. She smirked to her self and flung his hat over her shoulder and then hit him in the head with her pillow. She then laid back down with her back towards Bernard, acting asleep as he had done not long before.

"That was not nice, Voltaire. Honestly, I let you wear my clothes, sleep in my bed, give you my hat, and let you stay in my apartment and this is how you repay me?"

"Well I don't really have a choice, we're under house arrest." Voltaire sighed then and opened her eyes and turned to face Bernard who was laying on his back.

"I know. Come here," he said and Voltaire scooted closer and Bernard wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she put her head on his chest and just sighed again.

"Tell me truthfully, do you think Christmas is done for?" she asked.

"We just have to keep hoping and believing in Santa. The way I see it is toy Santa is like the real Santa's evil twin and good always triumphs over evil," Bernard explained.

"I guess," said Voltaire and she yawned again which made Bernard yawn.

"Okay let's get some sleep," said Bernard. Voltaire just nodded and went off to sleep.

The next morning, Voltaire felt herself being dragged out of the bed by her arm. She opened her eyes and saw toy Santa had a hold of her arm and pulled her to some of his soldiers who picked her up and carried her out of the apartment. She yelled Bernard's name and he immediately tried to get past the soldiers keeping him there.

"No Voltaire!" he yelled trying separately to get to her.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of her, Bernard," said toy Santa before walking away with a smirk on his face.

"Voltaire!" yelled Bernard before toy Santa closed the door to the apartment a followed after the soldiers who were carrying Voltaire. She was feeling quite uncomfortable right now because in her struggle her pants were on the verge of falling down, they were bigger then she thought.

"What do you want with me?" she asked trying to reach for her pants without toy Santa noticing.

"Well since my assistant happens to be assisting the other elves in making the children of the world's presents, I want you to be my assistant. You will do whatever I ask, and that involves cooking my meals, I want only the best and you are the head chef so you can't be that bad. I see you will need a change of clothes we can't have your baggy clothes slowing down your work. I think I can find something," said Santa with a terrifying twinkle in his eye as he said the last part. Voltaire didn't saying anything and soon she was shoved into the kitchen and the doors slammed shut and she turned around to face toy Santa.

"I'm going to guess you would like some hot chocolate," said Voltaire unsure of what else to say.

"Yes, and some cookies. And I want the hot chocolate to be dark chocolate. I hear that when it is cooked properly it can release certain feeling of being in love," said toy Santa. Voltaire felt a shudder of fear go through her, "I'll be back," he said and turned and left. Voltaire shook her head in disgust and went to turning the stove on and pulling some dough out of the fridge to let it get softer. The shirt sleeves kept falling over her hands so she had to roll those ups and she had to pull the pants up constantly, but now knowing that toy was, indeed, a pervert she would rather keep wearing Bernard's clothes. Plus, they smelled like him and that calmed her down somewhat, without having him actually in the room.

Right as she was about to roll out the cookie dough, toy Santa came back and threw something white towards her. She caught it and looked at it with wide eyes.

"You do know that this is the North Pole right? You know, freezing cold," said Voltaire.

"Well you'll be working in the hot kitchen all day so I don't see the cold as a problem," he said and continued to stare at her. Knowing that he wanted her to change, she put a disgusted face on and walked into the pantry. She reluctantly put the items on and looked down at herself. There was a skirt made of flowing white fabric with slits on each side that went all the way up to the top, holding it all together by the waistband. The top was hardly a top, it was more like a bikini top designed to look like a snowflake and was made of a strong fake white leather.

"I'm not wearing this," declared Voltaire as she made a turn to grab Bernard's shirt.

"Ah, but you don't know what I▓m capable of," said toy Santa.

"You never said what you would do if I don't follow your commands," said Voltaire.

"Well think about it, I can treat the elves however I want, you don't want that do you? Plus I have your boyfriend under lock and key and I can make my soldiers do whatever they want to him with the snap of my fingers," he said laughing a bit after. Voltaire looked horrified and decided the elves and Bernard had gone through enough. This was for them. She walked out of the pantry and toy Santa's face grew into a smirk.

"This is too wrong," said Voltaire and she walked over to the cookie dough and went back to rolling out the dough. Toy Santa watched her for a while as she worked, that smirk never leaving his face.

"Well I have to go check on the elves' progress, but I'll make sure these get back to Bernard," said toy Santa and he went and picked up the clothes Voltaire had previously had been wearing. He then left the kitchen and Voltaire saw some of the soldiers standing there. She quickly finished everything she was requested and silently went over to the doors. She knew that the soldiers were not very smart and couldn't really keep her back is she slipped passed them.

Making sure she turned off the oven, she walked back to the doors, took a deep breath, and made a run for it. She slipped right past the soldiers and ran quickly down the hall. She turned ad corner and saw Curtis up a head. She quickly ran up to him.

"Voltaire?! What are you wearing?" he asked looking her up and down.

"Look I don't have much time to explain. Bernard is under house arrest, and I think I'm about to go back too. Santa tried to make me his personal assistant but I just escaped. You need to somehow get to the real Santa on earth and tell him everything. Go now!" said Voltaire before she ran off and Curtis watched her before heading to the El.F.S. headquarters where they kept the jet packs.

Voltaire ran all the way through the snow, as cold as that was, to the apartments and saw soldiers standing guard outside Bernard's room. She slowed her pace and walked up to them.

"Santa said I had to come back to being under house arrest," she said calmly. They turned to look at each other before moving aside a bit. She was shocked that it actually worked before opening the door and walking in. She saw Bernard now pacing the room but looked up when the door opened. His eyes landed on hers and he had her in an embrace as quick as a heartbeat.

"Are you alright? What did he do to you? What are you wearing?" he asked looking her up and down when he pulled away from the hug.

"I'm fine, I just told Curtis to go get the real Santa and he should be there now all we have to do is wait," she said and sat down on the couch. Bernard left into his bedroom and came back and wrapped a blanket around her shoulder. She smiled at him and pulled it tighter around her.

"You know you never told how you go that outfit of yours," he said smirking a bit at her. What could he say he was a male and, as his mum and dad kept reminding him, should have had at least one girlfriend by now.

"We were right about toy Santa being a pervert," she said and she put her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

"Do you want anything to eat? I snuck some ingredients from the kitchen the other day," he said. She smiled and nodded. He stood up and went to the table in the corner of the room. Voltaire just laid down on the couch and waited for Bernard to come back. Soon she heard him put a plate on the table and she opened her eyes and looked at the plate.

"Sandwich on pita bread," she stated smiling. Bernard just shrugged and she sat up and took the plate, "thanks," she said before taking a bite into it and he sat down and they ate in silence. Before long Bernard felt a pressure on his shoulder and saw that Voltaire had finished her sandwich and was now asleep. He knew things were going to get better soon and wanted her to be well rested for all the action that was to lead up to it.

-

A/N: I have ten million stories going on now, so updating may take a while. However this one is priority because it it posted and majority of it is finished. 


	10. Chapter 10

Two Heads are Better then One Part 10

At some point during the night Bernard had fallen asleep on the couch as well. He had been looking out the window for awhile to see if the real Santa had come. Another time he had to deal with toy Santa and convince him to leave Voltaire alone; that was not easy at all, stubborn git.

The sun was coming up and a commotion could be heard out side the door. Bernard slowly opened his eyes to find Voltaire laying next to him with her head on his chest, fast asleep. The door then opened and there stood Charlie.

"Charlie what are you doing here? Does that mean Santa's back?!" asked Bernard not being able to help sitting up, which woke Voltaire up. She rubbed her eyes and then focused on Charlie.

"Yes, he's back, and the elves are on a rebellion, wish to help?" he asked. Bernard looked down at Voltaire and she stood up and they all ran out of the apartment and to the courtyard where all the elves were waiting.

"You should have changed first Voltaire," said Bernard as he noticed she was still wearing the outfit toy Santa had her wear.

"And miss out on the fun, if anyone I'm on of the elves that deserves to beat some of these soldiers," said Voltaire as they continued to run.

"I was going to comment, but decided against it. You do look hot," said Charlie with a smirk.

"Hey lay off, Charlie you don't know what she went through," said Bernard.

"Yea I'm going to need therapy after this," said Voltaire. They finally met up with the other elves. Voltaire got a lot of stares but just brushed them off as they continued to run through the halls. Soon they came to the main workshop area and saw the real Santa with a blonde woman. They all ran off to the reindeer area, but were too late, toy Santa had already taken flight in the sleigh. Bernard turned and whistled towards Chet. He looked up happily and everyone ran to the side in fear of Chet.

"What are you doing?" asked Santa.

"You have to save Christmas," said Bernard.

"How am I suppose to save Christmas?" asked Santa. Then the heard the roar of Chet as he came racing toward them.

"Why can't we have any other reindeers?" asked Voltaire frightened. He cam crashing in and then crashed right into Santa. The woman went and helped him up and Voltaire helped Bernard secure the reigns.

"Okay Chet ready to go?" asked Bernard.

"Chet?" questioned the woman.

"He's still in training," explained Voltaire.

"How much flight time has he had?" asked Santa.

"About a minute and a half," said Bernard turning towards Santa as he got on Chet.

"Hey, but he's had a lot of crash time," said Curtis.

"Curtis," warned Santa and Voltaire.

"He's just a baby," moped Curtis.

"Well then let's see what this baby can do," said Santa and they all watched as Chet took off. It was hard to watch as they swayed in the air slowly getting higher and closer to the toy Santa. Bernard then turned around to face all the elves.

"Okay everyone outside now!" he yelled. They all ran for the exit and Bernard and Voltaire brought up the rear making sure everyone was with them, the soldiers were still loose after all.

Upon arriving outside they saw all the soldiers lined up ready for battle. Voltaire and Bernard were at the front and they all started.

"Snowballs on three. One," yelled Bernard. They bent down and got some snowballs," two," took aim "THREE!" They threw the snowballs and that had no affect whatso ever.

"Okay, elves, attack!" yelled Bernard and they charged at the soldiers. Voltaire ran forward and pushed a row of soldiers down so it created a domino effect. She then was cornered and she reached over and turned the head of a soldier around. The soldier then started flailing it's arms and knock both that soldier and the other one down as well.

Voltaire then stood up and saw the elves all bringing down the other soldiers. She spotted the woman and walked over to her.

"Welcome to the North Pole," she greeted. The woman laughed and held out her hand.

"I'm Carol," she said. Voltaire shook her hand.

"Voltaire, head chef. Nice to meet you," she said.

"Voltaire, like the famous philosopher?"

"I was actually born before him, but yea. Teacher or something?"

"Principal."

"Fun, we should go see how Santa's doing," said Voltaire and they went over and saw that they had brought toy Santa down.

"I know just what to do with him," said the real Santa and they went to go shrink him. In all of the mess Voltaire made her way over to Bernard and they walked over to get the sleigh ready for the real Santa to go. They went up to Santa and he seemed more then eager to get in the sleigh.

"Where are you going?" asked Bernard walking next to Carol, Voltaire was on the other side of the group walking next to Charlie.

"Well it's Christmas, number one, I have to deliver toys," said Santa.

"Don't you think you're forgetting one thing?" asked Bernard.

"No," said Santa.

"You have to get married," said Bernard. They all stopped walking.

"Excuse me?" asked Carol who then turned to look at Santa. Voltaire then realized something and went off to Santa's room. She picked up his phone and called all the legendary figures, mainly Mother Nature since she was the one who could officially marry them. The figures soon arrived and they all raced off to get the ceremony underway. It was perfect Santa got married in time and him and Charlie went off and delivered the toys.

Voltaire smiled happily as Carol watched the sleigh and Bernard got the elves back to cleaning up the workshop. She made her way over to her apartment building, it was high time she changed. Before going into the building she felt a sudden, almost pinch like, feeling on her behind. She looked and rubbed and saw and found nothing. She shrugged it off and walked up to her room. She was pulling clothes out when Mother Nature materialized inside her room.

"Hello Voltaire," she greeted.

"Hello Mother Nature, why are you still here? Aren't you busy ending the year?" asked Voltaire as she pulled on some socks.

"I have some time to spare. Anyway I wanted to talk to you," she replied. Voltaire nodded and changed while Mother Nature talked, it was all okay they are both women after all.

"About what?" asked Voltaire.

"First off, who gave you that necklace?"

"I thought you would know. Bernard said you gave it to him and told him he would know when and who to give it to," said Voltaire pulling a shirt on and pulling the necklace out from under it.

"Yes, well there was a reason why I gave him that necklace. I had given a necklace like this to all the past head elves. You see they are busiest elves in all the world and have little time for themselves. At some point I will give them this necklace and they will get a feeling who to give it to. Whether they know what the feeling is or not, it depends on the elf but it is suppose to signify that they love whoever they give it to," explained Mother Nature. Voltaire paused after she had pulled her skirt on.

"So Bernard loves me, he just doesn't know it?" asked Voltaire looking Mother Nature directly in the eye.

"Yes, and seeing as how many people around you are getting married I thought it would be suitable to let you in on this," said Mother Nature.

"Oh, well, thank you. I should go help the elves clean up," said Voltaire and she put her hat on and ran out the door. Trying not to think about what Mother Nature had said was very difficult. Voltaire had always felt a little more then friendship with Bernard recently but didn't possibly think it was such a strong feeling as love. Shaking her head Voltaire just ran into the kitchen and busied herself with little things in there.

Mother Nature just watched Voltaire leave her apartment, very confused inside. Mother Nature sighed and her a 'pop' as Cupid appeared next to her.

"Did you do it?" asked Mother Nature turning to the other legendary figure.

"Yes, but it didn't seem to change her," said Cupid with a shrug, "which isn't good because I don't want to deal with her mother again."

"No, it just means she is already in love with him, just doesn't know it yet. Or some force is preventing them from falling in love, but that is less likely," said Mother Nature and gave Cupid a smile.

"Well maybe we should help them along," suggested Cupid.

"No, we already interfered enough," said Mother Nature and they both left Voltaire's apartment.

-

A/N: Please review, just wondering how many people read this story and enjoy it. 


	11. Chapter 11

Two Heads are Better then One Part 11

Vacation time was going very well for everyone. Santa and Carol were on their honey moon and Voltaire was busy getting everything ready for Judy's wedding. Voltaire was in charge of the cake and was the maid of honour. The wedding was all ready to go for the next day and the cake was finished. Even on her vacation Voltaire was busy. Bernard was just relaxing, Santa had told him that there was a special job for him that he had to finish, but it involved him not being there for he next Christmas. Bernard didn't like the idea much but decided it was part of his job. He had to look for something or another, but now was not the time to worry about it.

Voltaire and Bernard were going to spend the afternoon together, just lounging around and watching movies. However there was something going on in Voltaire's mind as she sat next to Bernard, her eyes were on the TV, her fingers fiddling with her necklace, and her thoughts going back to her conversation with Mother Nature. Surely if she and Bernard loved each other they would feel something when they were around each other right? But nothing seemed different. Voltaire glanced over at Bernard who just laughed at a funny line in the movie. He didn't act any different around her either. Bernard turned to look at Voltaire after realizing he was being watched.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Bernard, do you think you might possibly love me?" Voltaire couldn't help it, she just blurted it out.

"Wha-where did that come from?" he asked shocked.

"It's something Mother Nature told me. She said that the person you give this necklace too is someone you are in love with," explained Voltaire.

"Really? So that's its significance?" sighed Bernard as he reached over and took the necklace it his fingers and looked at it.

"Why did you give it to me then?" asked Voltaire.

"In all honesty, I had forgotten to get you anything and I remember the necklace Mother Nature gave me and I thought you would like it, and then I quickly decorated that gingerbread house."

"Wow, well, it seems Mother Nature might be wrong. Unless do you feel any different when your with me now then before when we first met?"

"Sorry but no."

"Well the same with me. So we really aren't suppose to be lovers."

"Just the best of friends."

"I'm okay with that." They smiled at each other before returning to watching the movie.

Voltaire had just finished setting up the cake at the reception clearing where the wedding was taking place. She entered her apartment and saw Bernard waiting for her on her couch, already dressed and ready to go in his tuxedo.

"Well don't you clean up nicely?" she joked as she walked into her bedroom. He followed behind her.

"We're going to be late you know," he said as she went and got her dress and shoes out of her closet while Voltaire went into her bathroom to wash the frosting off of her.

"It's not my fault she asked me to do the cake and be maid of honour. Don't worry it will be fine," said Voltaire who now twisted half of her hair into a bun and left the rest down. On the top of her head went a silver circlet that had beads that hung down into her hair. She put on dangling silver earring and did her make up with a very natural look. She walked into her bedroom she see Bernard trying to fix his tie and her dress laying on the bed. She slipped the satin, periwinkle, sleeveless dress on and threw on her silver, strappy high heels.

"Can you help?" asked Bernard as he turned to face her and pointed to his tie that was askew. Voltaire sighed and stood up and fixed his tie. He then moved her circlet around and then smiled.

"There, now don't mess with it,' said Voltaire standing back and admiring her work.

"You look beautiful, who knew," said Bernard. She just slapped him in the chest.

"Let's just go," she said. They left the apartment and made their way to the wedding. Bernard went and took his seat before the altar and Voltaire went off in search of the bride.

"I love the cake!" was the first thing Judy said as she hugged her friend.

"I'm glad, I'm late because of it. You aren't nervous or anything are you?" asked Voltaire as she grabbed the bouquet and handed it to Judy.

"No, Nick and I are solid so no cold feet. Plus I have you supporting me and Abby," she said and smiled over at the other bride's maid. Voltaire nodded and the music started. Voltaire grabbed the flowers she was to carry, some white roses, and walked out down the aisle.

Everything went according to plan, and Nick and Judy were now happily married. The dinner was fantastic and the reception was enjoyed by all. Bernard and Voltaire talked most of the wedding until Judy forced the two to dance.

"Let's see how you dance," said Bernard as he led her to the dance floor.

"That implies that you know hoe to dance. When did that happen?" asked Voltaire.

"Mrs. Clause taught me right before the honeymoon," he said. Voltaire laughed at the image she got and he spun her around and they danced through the song, well they would of if it wasn▓t switched to a slow song. Voltaire looked over at the DJ and saw Nick standing there watching the two.

"I think people are still trying to get us to be a couple," said Voltaire with a chuckle before wrapping her arms around Bernard's neck. He looked over and spotted Nick as well. He laughed and just placed his hands in her waist.

"It seems, we'll let them have their fun," said Bernard.

"So any idea about what this job you have next holiday season is?" asked Voltaire as she stared into Bernard's eyes.

"No clue. The only thing he said about it is that I was hired by the Council of Legendary Figures to do it and that it is personal to me," shrugged Bernard.

"Well that's vague, why do you have to do it during the holiday season though?" asked Voltaire.

"They said it is something that can only be done in the winter. That added detail confuses me even more," said Bernard, "but let's not worry about that now, we still have vacation." And with that said, and the ending of the song, Bernard dipped Voltaire and she just laughed and hit Bernard in the arm when she was on her two feet again.

"Don't do that, I thought you would drop me," she said and walked away to go sit down.

"Ah but I didn't," replied Bernard, following after her. Judy and Nick had been watching the whole thing and just shook their heads at the two and continued dancing.

Voltaire and Bernard were some of the few that had stayed at he wedding the longest. They helped clean up and said their congratulations to the newlyweds. During the evening Bernard gave Voltaire his jacket since it was cold out and she had somehow convinced him to carry her home, mentioning something about her feet hurting in high heels. Bernard carried Voltaire in her apartment and went and dropped her on her bed. She immediately sat up and took her heels off and looked at the blisters that were now forming.

"Ouch," said Voltaire as she looked at them.

"Want me to help you with that?" asked Bernard.

"No, it's okay, you should go home and get some rest, it was a pretty busy day," said Voltaire as she took his jacket off and handed it to him. He smiled and left the apartment. Voltaire sighed and looked at her feet with a wince on her face.

-

A/N: Thank you for reading. 


	12. Chapter 12

Two Heads are Better then One Part 12

"Let me get this straight. You are going to search for a person who is abusing their power and you can only go during the winter because their magic is everywhere and it leaves a trail to where they are?" asked Voltaire as she helped Bernard pack his bags. He was leaving today and didn't plan on coming back before the holiday season was over.

"Yes," he said adding some pants into his bag.

"And how is that suppose to be personal to you?" questioned Voltaire, remembering a previous conversation they had, while adding some shirts into his bag.

"I have no clue. Maybe I know the person or something," said Bernard with a shrug.

"How are you suppose to know when you are close?" she asked and zipped up his small duffel bag.

"I was given this watch that monitors the magic and it will beep and light up when I am close." Bernard pulled his sleeve back and held his wrist in Voltaire's face. She saw a silver watch and there was a gage on it.

"Well I hope you get done as soon as possible," said Voltaire as she handed Bernard his bag.

"Hug good bye?" he asked holding his arms out. She just smiled and hugged him.

"Now go," she said as they pulled away from the hug. He gave one last smile before disappearing. Voltaire sighed and walked back to her room. She heard a commotion outside and went to go see what was happening. Outside all the elves were gathering around the hospital and Voltaire assumed either Mrs. Claus was having her baby or it was another false alarm. Judging by the disappointed looks, it was another false alarm. She sighed and went to the kitchen.

The next day apparently there was an emergency council meeting called. Voltaire had no doubt it had to do with Jack Frost. He was like an older brother to her. They first met when she was sculpting an ice sculpture and he happened to see and was impressed. He gave her a few tips and they became close. Sometimes though she felt like a mum to him instead of a younger sister. Especially what he had done now.

"Make sure you have the nameplates and folders out," said Voltaire as the elves prepared the table for the meeting. Why it was in the kitchen, she did not know but Santa had better make it up to her because it was way too close to Christmas for this kind of pressure.

Slowly one by one the council members started to show up and Voltaire greeted them then left the kitchen. She never liked the meeting, they were kind of boring to her. If she had to be a member she would join Sandman, if you know what I mean. While outside she ran into Jack who was slowly making his way to the kitchens.

"My favourite elf! Even if you are working for the big man," said Jack with his arms spread open. Voltaire rolled her eyes and hugged him.

"How have things been Jack? It is rare to see you show up for a meeting," said Voltaire as she pulled back.

"Well there seems to be a problema involving moi so I'm here," he said.

"Ah, isn't there always a problem with you?"

"Hey it's tough being me!"

"Sure, well you are good and late for the meeting now. Have fun and good luck, and don't do anything to my kitchen," she said and then walked away to go find something entertaining to do. The elves were all a buzz about something, if only Bernard was there, he usually supplied information about what went on in the workshop to Voltaire. She sighed and walked to Claus' room to see Mrs. Clause.

"Hey Voltaire," she greeted from the couch where she was rubbing her stomach.

"Hello Mrs. Claus. Just felt like checking up on you. Don't know why they decided to have the meeting in the kitchen but they did and they are always so boring," said Voltaire as she went over and sat next to her.

"I understand. So did you hear?" she asked getting excited.

"No, they elves were excited about something but I don't know what."

"My parents are coming!"

"Um┘ I don't think that's allowed."

"We all talked about it and we re just going to make my parents think we are in Canada."

"Canada, eh?"

They laughed but Mrs. Claus suddenly stopped and felt her stomach.

"Voltaire feel this, she's kicking." Voltaire hesitantly put her hand where Mrs. Claus indicated and felt a kick beneath her fingers.

"That is really weird. Sorry but that is just something I would never get use to," said Voltaire pulling her hand back.

"Well one day you'll look like this," said Mrs. Claus nudging Voltaire with her shoulder.

"Oh really? I think you're trying to hint at something," said Voltaire with a smile on her face.

"No, I am not. So how has Bernard been?" she asked.

"He left yesterday, we haven't talked yet."

"Oh, I hope he comes back soon. But I don't think he would approve of my parents coming."

"Oh no, I can imagine him now. It would involve lots of yelling and arm waving and then probably blaming Curtis for something." They shared another laugh then sighed after.

"Things are going to get more hectic around here. Everyone is trying their hardest to turn this place into a part of Canada. You too should also try to look more human. Your outfit is a little on the elf size."

"I would hope so, I am an elf. And that isn't as easy as you may thing, no one around here makes clothes in my size."

"Maybe I could help with that predicament. Follow me," said Mrs. Claus and she stood up and Voltaire followed her to a closet.

"This is your closet." Voltaire turned to face Mrs. Claus.

"Pick anything you want that is in the back, there's where all my non-maternity clothes are." And this that Mrs. Claus went back to sit on the couch and Voltaire hesitantly walked to the back of the closet. She looked through the clothes carefully.

"Anything?" asked Voltaire, making sure.

"Anything. And you can change in there," said Mrs. Claus from the other room. Voltaire nodded and then went and closed the closet door and then got changed into her new clothes fit for Canada. It was a simple black suit with a white button up shirt and vest. She kept her boots seeing as she had smaller feet then Mrs. Claus. She put her hair into a pony tail, leaving her hat off, and stepped out of the closet.

"What do you think?" asked Voltaire spinning around.

"I like it, even if you look more like a lawyer then a chef- but it works well with you," siad Mrs. Claus nodding in approval. That's when Santa came in.

"Voltaire what are you doing here? Aren't you suppose to be in the kitchen?" he asked.

"Sorry, I don't like council meetings so I thought I'd come keep Mrs. Claus entertained," said Voltaire shrugging.

"Nice outfit. Hey can you do me a favour since I don't trust Curtis that much since the toy Santa incident?" asked Santa as he walked over to his desk.

"Sure," said Voltaire, walking into the room more with her clothes in her hand.

"Can you keep an eye on Jack Frost. I know you two are close so it will be easy to see what he is up too. I let him assist me as a punishment to make up for his actions," said Santa rubbing his temple.

"Okay, easy enough for me. I'll go now," said Voltaire and she slipped out of the room and walked to the kitchen. She observed what was being done and then headed to her apartment to put her clothes away. Walking back to the workshop she ran in to Jack, who had been 'helping' putting up signs.

"Voltaire, nice outfit, I like. What's the occasion," said Jack looking her up and down.

"We are in Canada now, and my other outfit as a bit too elf-like. I don't know Mrs. Claus idea," said Voltaire as she walked a little with him to the workshop.

"So I haven't seen that Bernard fellow around lately, did he get fired or demoted. The current number one elf was interesting."

"What number one- Curtis! Bernard is still number one elf, Bernard is on a special mission from the Council."

"I don't know about it."

"That's because you're never at meetings."

"Ouch, that hurts," he said and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Jack you're like an older brother to me, but you need to be more responsible. You are a Legendary Figure, and that means having to go through with the meetings like everyone one else. Or you won't be a Legendary Figure much longer, and even fewer people would know of you around the world."

"Younger sister, you sound more like my mother," he said with a smile.

"Well while you continue to break Canada signs, I'm going to go back to work in the kitchen, please don't destroy more things."

The next day was the arrival of the in laws, but Voltaire stayed in the kitchen. Jack went by early in the morning looking for some hot chocolate so Voltaire offered him some of her special flavours, he likes the mint because it was refreshing. Shortly after the arrival a whole bunch of elves from electric and the Naughty and Nice area came in demanding some of her special flavoured hot chocolate.

"How do you know about those, only Bernard and Jack know of those┘Jack Frost I will kill him!" said Voltaire as she angrily filled their mugs and went back to pounding out some cookie dough. Then Jack decided to waltz in and Voltaire immediately jabbed her finger into his chest.

"When I told you not to tell others about my hot chocolate, I meant it. I know you like to go against orders, but I thought we had an understanding!" she said. Jack just looked scared and shied away to another area of the kitchen. When Voltaire get's angry, it's best to let her cool down, without the help from Jack Frost. Not soon after she heard an unfamiliar voice.

"This is some kitchen!" Voltaire turned around to see Mrs. Claus, Santa, and who she could only assume were the 'in-laws'. Groaning she walked up to them when Santa motioned for her to walk forward.

"This is the head chef," said Santa. Voltaire shook their hands.

"Pleasure," she said putting a smile on.

"Why are you taller then everyone else?" asked the father-in-law.

"I'm not a Canadian native, you get use to it," said Voltaire, "please feel free to look around, just be weary of the workers and hot stoves."

They went out and Voltaire sighed and went back to what she was doing trying to get through all her cooking. That's when things started to turn ugly. First one of the machines caught fire while some elves were trying to use it. Luckily, Buddy, the father in-law, came to the rescue. Voltaire quickly went over to inspect what was wrong but had little time for another machine exploded.

"I can't believe this. I thought once we get a new oven everything in this kitchen would work perfectly. But no!" she exclaimed as she went to inspect the machine. The elves were running around, asking Voltaire what they should do and trying to help with the machines. She tried to remain calm but at this point she just ahd to burst.

"EVERYONE OUT OF THE KITCHNE, NOW!" She yelled and everyone scurried for the doors, "except you, Jack." He turned slowly and walked back over to her.

"Yes," he asked sweetly.

"I don't know what you are planning, but if you want me to personally kill you and make you into a meat pie I will and I will enjoy every minute of it," said Voltaire through gritted teeth pointing a finger at him.

"I believe you are finally coming to the dark side, young elf," he said with a smirk.

"Cut it Jack. I know it was you who froze these machines. Do you want me fired or killed?"

"No I would never."

"Then stop your games right now. I'm suppose to be watching you and if I report you to Santa, well you'll be stripped of your titles in a heartbeat. I have been nice so far, don't push me over."

With that she walked over her machines and went back to work on trying to salvage them. Jack slunked from the kitchen and went to go make more trouble else where.

That night Voltaire was more then happy to go home. She had spent the rest of the day thawing out the machines and going around making sure no other machines were frozen. She was at her last whim so she was happy when she got to fall on her soft bed and fall asleep.

A/N: I tried to get Jack's style of speaking down. He would use words from other languages in, but they are simple words so I hope you understand them. And on another note, I'm watching Numb3rs right now. 


	13. Chapter 13

Two Heads are Better then One Part 13

A/N: to explain this part a bit, it is the alternate reality, where Jack has become Santa and the North Pole is an amusement park. Didn't want you to get confused.

Ever since Jack became Santa many things were different around the North Pole. No toys were being made, the elves were forced to deal with spoiled children, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Voltaire and Bernard were now married, something Jack sort of forced them to do. Jack knew Voltaire too well and knew she would try to stop him so he got all the elves to force them together. Now they lived on the outskirts of the surrounding villages and owned an small bakery.

"How are you this morning?" asked Bernard as he wrapped his arms around her waist with great difficulty seeing how her stomach was quite large due to pregnancy.

"Tired, but all right," said Voltaire as she turned around and gave him a peck on the lips.

"That's good to hear. What are you making?" he asked as she turned back around and continued to stir a pot.

"Oatmeal, I was craving it, there's some hot chocolate in the pitcher over there. Should be hot still," she said and watched him walk over and pour himself a cup. She smiled to herself and grabbed two bowls and put some oatmeal in the bowls and they sat down at the table.

"Soon," said Bernard as he put a hand on her stomach.

"I just don't want him or her working for Jack," said Voltaire as she too put her hand on her stomach.

"No one wants to work for him," sighed Bernard as he took a sip of his hot chocolate.

"I think I might pop in the shop for a bit today."

"Voltaire, you shouldn't."

"If I get tired I'll rest, and it will only be for a few hours. I just want to see how things are holding up."

"All right, but I'm not leaving your side if you do."

They finished their breakfast and got changed and soon made their to the bakery. It was already pretty full of workers and people visiting the Pole. Voltaire got to work and Bernard was by her side helping her all morning. It was later in the day when one human came in and immediately walked right up to Bernard.

"Bernard what has happened here. I thought you of all people would stop Jack from doing this!" he exclaimed.

"Um┘who are you?" asked Bernard looking at the man cautiously.

"It's me, the real Santa. Scott Calvin, use to make fun of you and Voltaire saying you were together. Speaking of which where is Voltaire?" asked Scott looking around.

"I don't know who you are sir but I think it would be best if you leave and don▓t come near me nor my wife again," said Bernard. Then Voltaire walked, well waddled, up next to Bernard. She had been watching the scene from the back and decided to help Bernard out.

"What is the matter here?" she asked putting a hand on Bernard's shoulder.

"Voltaire, honey, go back to the kitchen I'll take care of this," said Bernard turning to her.

"Voltaire? You're huge! Wait, wife- You're married?!" asked Scott looking back and forth between them.

"Do we know you, sir?" asked Voltaire.

"No we don't. I asked you to leave, please," said Bernard putting a protective arm around Voltaire's shoulders.

"Just tell me where I can find Frost and Curtis," he asked.

"They're at the work shop," said Bernard and he turned around and with Voltaire, walked back into the kitchen.

"That was surely weird," said Voltaire as she supported her stomach and rubbed it a bit.

"How are you feeling? I think we should go back to the house now," said Bernard. Voltaire nodded and they walked back to their house and Voltaire sat down on the couch and propped her feet up.

"It was nice to get out today. I don't feel too tired either," said Voltaire. Bernard came over and sat next to her and she leaned onto his chest.

"That's good," he said and kissed her. She smiled and kissed him back.

"But what was that man going on about?" said Voltaire looking down at her stomach.

"I don't know. Humans can act weird at times, as we already know. Just avoid him and if he becomes a problem we'll inform the authorities," said Bernard as he rubbed her stomach, "he kicked!"

"He?" asked Voltaire glaring up at him who just smiled at her and continued to try and feel another kick. She shook her head and removed his hands.

"Wait I wanted to feel him kick again," said Bernard trying to get Voltaire to sit down again.

"She did, my bladder," was her response as she waddled to the bathroom. Bernard just watched and thought about all that had happened. It was all quite sudden, and it was all thanks to Jack. He was cruel to everyone else but had always been so nice to Voltaire. He had talked to her about that before but she just said they were like siblings, that only worried Bernard further. Never the less, he let it slide and only focused on the issues that were happening at the time: her pregnancy, Jack turning the North Pole completely upside down, and that strange human that showed up today.

"You will never believed what has happened!" yelled Curtis as he burst through the door.

"Curtis, I gave you a key not for you to abuse but for you to help Voltaire if she needed it. Do I need to take it away from you?" asked Bernard standing up and walking over to the elf.

"Your choice, but guess what happened!" said Curtis excited.

"I don't know, Chet threw up on a human again?" asked Bernard clearly not interested.

"No, some human crashed on stage in the middle of Santa's show. He made Santa fly all the way across the stage. It was hilarious!" said Curtis.

"What?! Is Jack okay?" asked Voltaire coming out from the hallway.

"Don't know, didn't stay long enough to find out. But it was priceless," said Curtis.

"I wonder if it was that same man from earlier today?" said Voltaire thinking out loud.

"What man?" asked Curtis turning to her.

"Thank you for the news Curtis, you can leave now. Voltaire needs her rest," said Bernard as he shoved Curtis out the door and slammed it behind him. He then walked over to Voltaire and led her to their bedroom.

"I think it was the same man," said Voltaire as she sat on the bed.

"Well if it was it still has nothing to do with us. Just get some sleep, it was a busy day for you," said Bernard as he gently laid her down and pulled the covers over her.

"Fine, I just hope Jack is all right. What happened sounded brutal," she said and yawned after. Bernard just smiled at her and kissed her good night.

-

A/N: That was all for the alternate reality type of deal. Thanks for reading. 


	14. Chapter 14

Two Heads are Better then One Part 14

A/N: No longer alternate reality. Scott is once again Santa!

That dreaded alarm went off and Voltaire woke up to her headed pounding, her nose stuff up, and her lungs on fire. Yes, elves can get sick but usually that is rare. It only happens when you are stressed, overworked, and were in the cold for a while; which Voltaire was. She knew she should take the day off but it was Christmas eve. The big day. She had to be there, right?

"Voltaire are you feeling all right?" asked Charlie as he came in the kitchen. He and all the Legendary Figures were here helping Santa finish his quota.

"She has a cold but being as stubborn as she is she has refused to go home," said Mother Nature as she walked out from a cabinet with a broom.

"Seriously Voltaire, go home, there are more then enough elves to clean up," said Charlie.

"If there are enough elves then why are the Legendary Figures here working?" asked Voltaire taking a break from cleaning the counter and putting her hands on her hips.

"Because, they┘ they were checking up on Jack?" tried Charlie. Mother Nature just shook her head and Voltaire went back to work.

"Fine but if you pass out I'm not carrying you home," said Charlie and he left. Voltaire shook her head and Mother Nature continued on sweeping.

Voltaire was alone in the kitchen cleaning it up. She had not seen Jack all day, which only worried her. It would soon be time for Santa to depart and Voltaire would go home and spend her Christmas night alone. Her head shot up. She had never been alone on Christmas, ever. Before she came to the Pole she had her family, and then she had Bernard. Sick and alone on Christmas.

"Isn't that depressing," Voltaire muttered to herself as she put some dishes away. She sighed a looked around the kitchen. It was spotless, she did a good job. All the elves, except for the heads, were requested to go help finish toys so she was left with cleaning up. She sighed and began to take her apron off, luckily she got to wear her normal clothes because they told the in-laws everything. As she was doing that Jack walked in, well someone who looked a lot like Jack, just brighter.

"Voltaire, how are you this Christmas?" he asked as he gave her a big hug.

"Jack, have you been defrosted?" asked Voltaire as Jack squeezed the life out of her.

"And I must say, I apologize. I have been doing some very evil things against you and that Bernard fellow. But no time explaining now, there is a baby being delivered," he said and pushed her toward the door.

"Jack what do you mean evil things against us?" asked Voltaire trying to not fall over from him pulling her to the delivery room.

"Hurry, or you'll miss the wonder of life!" he exclaimed and soon he shoved her into the delivery room and shut the door.

"Oh, Voltaire, come here," said Mrs. Claus with her hand out stretched. Her mum was behind her and Santa was holding her other hand. Voltaire walked over and grabbed her hand.

"Okay, I'm going to need you to push on one. Three, two, one!" said Dr. Histmas. Mrs. Claus squeezed her hands, making Voltaire and Santa wince, and soon the cries of a baby echoed through the room.

"Oh thank god," said Mrs. Claus leaning back and letting go of Voltaire's and Santa's hands. Voltaire grabbed her hand and looked at its redness.

"It's a boy!" said Dr. Histmas as he handed the baby to a nurse who had a blanket ready to wrap him in and clean him off.

"I think I know just what to name him," sad Santa.

"You do?" asked Mrs. Claus.

"After his grandfather," said Santa. Mrs. Claus' mum smiled at that.

"I'll leave you all, but first I want to look at your hands, " said the doctor pointing to Voltaire and Santa. They walked to a separate room and the doctor bandaged Santa's hand first.

"Congratulations Santa," said Voltaire smiling at him.

"Thank you, Voltaire," said Santa smiling back at her.

"Santa, your wife is right handed I presume, yes?" asked the doctor as he looked at Voltaire's hand.

"Yes, why?" asked Santa confused.

"Because Voltaire's hand it much worse then yours," he said and bandaged Voltaire's hand gently, "also it seems you have a cold, Voltaire."

"I know," she sighed.

"You do? Why did you come to work still? That seems like something only Bernard would do," said Santa.

"Well you were behind and had to bring in your son and the Legendary Figures to help get done in time," said Voltaire and her smiled dropped at the mention of Bernard, it reminded her she was going to be alone. Santa noticed.

"He hasn't called you has he?" he asked as they walked back to the delivery room with the doctor.

"No, and I only hope it's because he is busy and will be home real soon," said Voltaire.

"You should go be with your wife, Santa. You, Voltaire, are going home and resting, we'll send someone later to go and check on you," said the doctor. Voltaire nodded and left for home.

"And I know just who to send," said Santa. The doctor looked at him skeptically then just ignored it and they re-entered the delivery room.

Voltaire grabbed something to eat and dressed in her warm pyjamas. She was careful not to use her left hand too much as she went about her house. She was exhausted from the day, and soon heard sleigh bells off in the distance. There was a knock on her door and Mother Nature walked in.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Fine, thank you. I assume you're the person they sent to check up on me?" asked Voltaire.

"Nope, just came to tell you when you wake you'll have a special Christmas present from the Council waiting for you, but you can only get it if you go to sleep. Santa's rules," said Mother Nature with a big smile on her face.

"You're hiding something from me," said Voltaire as she got up and eyed Mother Nature.

"Well usually that's what you do with presents. Just go and sleep and everything will make sense when you wake up," and with that Mother Nature left. Voltaire, still confused, shook her head and went to sleep.

"-taire. Voltaire, wake up."

"Hmm," grumbled Voltaire as she turned over and put her back to whoever was trying to wake her.

"Come on, get up," said the person. Voltaire just coughed and opened her eyes and looked at her clock. She only got a half an hour of sleep.

"I'm suppose to be sleeping doctor's orders," whined Voltaire as she turned on her back, eyes now closed.

"Then you won't get your present," said the person. She was having a hard time placing that voice with a face. She knew it was familiar but her cold was making her brain cloud up.

"Mother Nature said I would get it if I slept," Voltaire replied covering her eyes with her right hand.

"But it's tradition to spend Christmas night with me."

Now she knew who it was. He eyes shot open and she removed her hand and looked and there was Bernard sitting at the edge of her bed.

"Bernard?" she asked confused, "what happened to the special job?"

"The person's magic disappeared and the council called me back saying everything was fine now," he said as he took her hands and then looked at her left one that was still bandaged and slightly swollen now.

"So who was the person?" asked Voltaire sitting up.

"Jack."

"What was he doing, besides the usual?"

"I was just told of it all. He was interfering in the love life of two elves, making it so they would never be together."

"That doesn▓t sound like Jack. Why would he care about the love life of elves? Anyway they said it was personal to you, must mean it was two elves at the workshop or something, right?"

"I don't know. That was all the Council was talking about."

"Oh well, I guess that would explain why you're back though. Jack was defrosted, if you will."

"Never thought I'd see the day. And Mrs. Claus had her baby I hear."

"Yep," said Voltaire and she held up her left hand. Bernard just smiled and shook his head.

"Still up for the gift exchange?" he asked.

"Oh, well. I sort of, didn't get you anything. Sorry, but with all the madness around the workshop and you being gone and I got sick-"

"Wait you're sick?" Bernard interrupted her rant and put a hand to her forehead, "Oh, Voltaire, you're burning up. I thought when you said, 'doctor's orders' it was because you worked to much. You really should be resting, here lay down." He moved aside and pushed her down and covered her up with the blankets till they came to her chin.

"Bernard, really I'm fine," she said.

"No you are not," he stated, "I'm going to go make you something warm to eat."

"Bernard, when I say I'm fine, I'm fine," she said as she grabbed his arm and stopped him from leaving the room.

"All right, but I'm staying here, tonight," he said and sat down next to Voltaire on the bed.

"Suit yourself, just don't fuss over me. You probably need rest too, after all that traveling," said Voltaire and she looked over at him. She just smiled and shook her head. Sitting up she gently moved Bernard so he was laying down and carefully pulled her covers over him, trying not to wake him. Voltaire turned the light off and laid back down and went to sleep. She wasn't alone on Christmas after all.

-

A/N: That ends the third movie and now it is from my own brain from here on out. But tha also means this series will probably be coming to an end soon. Thanks for reading. 


	15. Chapter 15

Two Heads are Better then One Part Fifteen

Bernard woke up and felt something pressed against him. It was warm and it only made him move closer. He opened his eyes and smiled as he saw Voltaire sleeping with her face turned towards him. He reached and felt her forehead. Her fever had gone down in the night, but she still was sick. Her face was still a little flushed and she was breathing through her mouth, signifying that she still had a stuffed up nose. He carefully pulled her left hand up from under the blankets and looked at it. It had gotten worse. While he was unwrapping her hand to let it breathe, Voltaire woke up.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?" he asked stopping his movement and just delicately holding her hand.

"A little, but I'm fine," she said and just closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest.

"Your hand has gotten worse, but your fever has gone down,," whispered Bernard.

"Mmm, that's good. Maybe I can go gift hunting for you then?" she said and opened one eye and looked at him as he finished unwrapping her hand.

"Me too," replied Bernard as he ran his hand through her hair.

"You want to get yourself a gift?" she asked.

"No, I need to get a gift for you. I had been traveling in the middle of no where, no place and no time to get you a gift," he said.

"Ah," was her reply. They continued to lay there for a little while, trying to fight off the sleep.

"Hey Bernard," said Voltaire.

"Yes Voltaire?" he asked.

"Were you suppose to be my gift from the Council?" He laughed.

"Yes, I was. I was actually standing outside your door when you and Mother Nature were talking."

"Well it was a good gift. I have to thank them the next time I see them."

"And then run away because you hate Council meetings."

"Exactly." They laughed and Voltaire opened her eyes and looked up at Bernard who stared back into her eyes.

"We should probably get up now," said Bernard, still staring into Voltaire's eyes.

"Probably," she said, not moving.

"Voltaire?"

"Hmm?"

"I've been thinking and, what if those elves that were being affected by Jack, were us?"

"Jack? Jack! He said something!" said Voltaire sitting up and remembering what the new and bright Jack had said to her.

"What did he say?" asked Bernard sitting up next to her.

"He said that he had been doing 'evil things' against you and me. And Mother Nature told me that the necklace you gave me was something she gave to all head elves and it was charmed so that they gave it to the person they love. Mother Nature said you love me, but you didn't know it," said Voltaire as she held out the necklace. Bernard was looking at it, and then up at Voltaire.

"So, I love you?" he asked. She looked at him.

"And now thanks to my big mouth you know it," said Voltaire. Bernard looked down at the sheets and then sighed and sat cross legged next to Voltaire. "I'm sorry, it must be hard to take in. I'll go make breakfast," said Voltaire sounding defeated. But when she tried to get up Bernard grabbed her arm and pulled her onto his lap and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"No, it is easy to take in. Now that Jack's powers aren't working against us, we can now finally realize it," he said staring at her.

"Realize what?" asked Voltaire with a smile.

"Voltaire, I love you," he said. Voltaire just wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him straight on the lips. He smiled and kissed her back.

"I love you too," she replied after breaking the kiss.

"How did I know you would kiss me first?" asked Bernard laughing a bit.

"Because you're too much of a wimp to kiss me," said Voltaire laughing.

"Oh really? Well I'll prove you wrong," he said and kissed her with much more force. She smiled and kissed him back. After a while she stole his hat and broke the kiss by running out of the room and into her kitchen.

"Voltaire, even if I love you, that doesn't allow you to take my hat!" he yelled and ran after her. She was in the process of putting a tea kettle onto the stove. He walked over and stole his hat back before wrapping his arms around her waist.

"You know what I just realized, we have made my mum very happy," she said as she turned around to face him. Bernard just laughed and pecked her on the lips.

"That woman probably already has the wedding planned out already. I'm going to go change," he said and left to his apartment. Voltaire just kept smiling to herself as she made some waffles. Bernard returned and sat down at her table.

"So do we need to go find a present for each other or is this enough?" asked Voltaire, not wanting to leave her apartment.

"I think this will work decent enough," said Bernard, "and should you really be cooking if you're sick. What is you get me sick?"

"Bernard, we already kissed, if you don't get sick from that then a little food won't hurt," she said and carried two plates of waffles to the table.

"You really should not be using your left hand," said Bernard as he watched her walk over and fill two mugs with hot chocolate.

"Well I didn't want sandwiches for breakfast," said Voltaire.

"I know how to make other things, like cookies," said Bernard as he took a bite of his waffles.

"Well I don't fancy cookies for breakfast either, I'm no 400 anymore," said Voltaire bringing the mugs over to the table and sitting down. They stayed quiet and finished their breakfast. When done Voltaire wrapped her hand up again and they went and sat down on the couch, telling each other what had happened while they weren't together.

"Curtis said he was the head elf! Can we go hunt him down?" asked Bernard getting up off the couch.

"Sure, let me get changed first," said Voltaire and she let to her bedroom and put on some clothes and her jacket. Bernard had his jacket on already by the time Voltaire made her way back into the living room. Bernard laced his fingers with Voltaire's right hand and they left her apartment and headed out. They passed a few elves who were staring at them and whispering with smiles on their faces.

"Is it just me or do I get the feeling that all the elves wanted us to get together," whispered Voltaire.

"Nah, I think it's just you," said Bernard. Voltaire just rolled her eyes and Bernard pulled her closer to him.

"Voltaire, Bernard fancy seeing you two together," said Santa as he was carrying a bag full of food.

"Don't try to fool us Santa we know it was you and the Council that set this up," said Voltaire.

"But we're glad you did," said Bernard as they smiled at each other and Santa looked between them.

"I knew you two would get together, I think the whole Pole did. I was just heading back to the Mrs. want to come see the baby?" he asked shifting the bag of food.

"Sure," said Voltaire.

"But I was going to go kill Curtis," said Bernard.

"Kill him when we vacation is over," said Voltaire and they followed after Santa to his room where Mrs. Clause was resting on the couch and the baby was in her arms.

"Hey you two," said Mrs. Claus looking up from her baby and seeing them holding hands," you aren't, together are you?" she asked.

"Took them long enough huh?" asked Santa.

"Well what matters is that you are finally together. Would you like to hold the baby?" asked Mrs. Claus.

"Uh," said Bernard and he turned to Voltaire.

"Go on," said Voltaire and she gently pushed him forward a bit. Mrs. Claus carefully put him into Bernard's arms and he held him carefully and looked very uncomfortable. That's when the baby started wiggling around a bit. Then he started crying and Voltaire couldn't help but laugh.

"Voltaire want to hold him now?" asked Bernard as he tried to keep his hold on the squirming, crying baby. Voltaire just laughed and walked over and carefully took the baby from Bernard's arms and held him and quieted him down.

"Aw, he likes you," said Mrs. Claus.

"Don't worry Bernard he cries when I hold him too," said Santa putting a hand on Bernard's shoulder.

"You look really tired Santa have you gotten any sleep?" asked Bernard.

"Nope, I came home and little Buddy was crying his eyes out and Carol was still to tired to get out of bed. But things will become easier, just wait till you have children," said Santa. Bernard went wide eyed and Voltaire nearly dropped Buddy.

"Not too soon hopefully," said Voltaire handing Buddy back to Mrs. Claus.

"Right you have to get married first," said Mrs. Claus, which didn't help.

"Speaking of marriage, have you talked to your mother recently, Voltaire?" asked Santa.

"No why?" asked Voltaire confused.

"She called me recently asking how you two are," said Santa.

"Oh thanks, I should probably call her," said Voltaire. She left with Bernard and went back to her apartment.

"You know, I think you should move into my apartment," said Bernard as they sat on the couch.

"Don't you think it is a little too soon?" asked Voltaire.

"Well considering that we are already really close friends, and the fact that we know that each night one of our apartment rooms are highly likely going to be neglected," said Bernard.

"True. I guess we always acted like a couple but never fell or noticed we were in love because of Jack, right?"

"Right."

"I still don't understand why Jack wouldn't like us being together. I know he acts like my older brother, but even older brothers are that older protective, are they?"

"Not that I know of. We'll just have to ask Mother Nature where he is the next we see her."

"Good plan. Anyway, sure, we should probably move into your apartment though, seeing how it's bigger, which means you have more junk then I do."

"We can move tomorrow, tonight we can stay here."

They both continued to talk through the rest of the day, at one point they did go outside to have a snow ball fight against Curtis. Santa had sent him over to their apartment and Bernard had to establish that he was the head elf, not Curtis. It was now after dinner and Voltaire was on the phone with her mum.

"No mum, you don't need to come," said Voltaire, Bernard just laughed at her feeble attempts to keep her mother away.

"I know this is a big deal to you, I saw you last vacation, plus weren't you and dad going somewhere? You didn't decide, well you don't need to come here, it's okay. I just called to tell you, 'cause I thought you'd want to know. No, yes I know, MUM! We just go together this morning, I know we are already moving in with each other but we aren't not that far in our relationship to do that. Okay, I'll call you later, bye," and with that Voltaire hung up and slammed the phone down on the table.

"Not far enough in our relationship to do what, get married?" he asked joking as she sat down next to him.

"No something most newlyweds do on their wedding night," said Voltaire crossing her arms and watching Bernard's reaction. He got rid of the smile on his face quite fast.

"Oh, well. How are you feeling?" asked Bernard in his desperate attempt to change subjects.

"Better, I guess, my hand still hurts but I feel less stuffed up then I did this morning."

"That's good."

"When do you think we'll see the council next?"

"New Years, the party is at the workshop this year."

"Good it's not too far away."

"Why?"

"Well I want to find out where Jack is so I can ask him why he was so persistent in keeping us apart."

"Oh, yeah, that has been bothering me a bit too."

-

A/N: I am thinking probably two more parts left. Thanks for reading. Please message. 


	16. Chapter 16

Two Heads are Better then One Part Sixteen

The News Year Party was a big hit. Voltaire's parents were there and she often saw her mother off talking with Cupid and Mother Nature. It was the end of the night and they were all heading back to the apartments.

"You go on ahead I have to ask someone something," said Voltaire to Bernard and her parents, who were staying in her old apartment. She ran over to where Mother Nature was talking to Cupid.

"She was so happy, just thought it would work sooner when you shot one of your arrows at Voltaire," said Mother Nature and they laughed.

"He did what?" asked Voltaire standing next to them.

"Oh look at the time, got to fly," said Cupid and he hurried away from the area.

"Well when you mother last visited she ran in to us after our Council meeting and asked Cupid to shoot an arrow at you. That's all in the past though, is there something you wanted?" asked Mother Nature.

"I wanted to know where Jack was."

"I thought so, he's in Costa Rica, here's his address." Mother Nature handed Voltaire a piece of paper and off she went to go and thank Santa. Voltaire walked back to the apartment, said good night to her parents and got ready for bed.

"So did you find out what you needed?" asked Bernard as they laid in bed.

"Yes, he's in Costa Rica."

"Whoa, he really has defrosted. So are we going there or just writing a letter?"

"I think paying him a visit would be best. Good night."

"Night."

"Boy it is hot here." Bernard as he fanned his face with his hand. He had already taken off his hat and was wearing a white shirt that was damp with sweat. Voltaire sighed as she too fanned herself and got her tank top from sticking to her.

"I think we're the palest people here," said Voltaire looking around her. They were in a nice neighborhood with palms tress everywhere and sun shinning down on everything.

"Is this the place?" asked Bernard pointing a fairly large house that was gated. Voltaire nodded and walked over to the buzzer and pressed the button.

"Who is it?" came the voice of Jack.

"Your favourite elf, Jack, open up," said Voltaire leaning against the wall. The gate opened and they walked in carrying their back packs.

"Voltaire, and Bernard, how great to see you. Honeymoon?" he asked walking out of his house to greet them.

"No, we came to find you," said Voltaire.

"Oh well come in, you look like you're dying, why don't you take a dip in my pool, get cooled down and we can chat over pina coladas," said Jack and he led them inside and past some maids. The soon came to a room and he opened the door.

"Your place is nice," said Voltaire.

"A bit large for one person," mumbled Bernard. Voltaire nodded her head in agreement and they set their bags down on the bed that was in there.

"If you don't have swim suits you can look in the closet, I always have extras, and just through those doors and your too the pool, I'll meet you there," said Jack and he waltz out of the room. They looked at each other and shrugged them walked over to the closet and found many different swim suits in all types, sizes, and colours.

"How many people do you think come here?" asked Voltaire as she grabbed a black two piece bathing suit and some shorts.

"I bet the council comes here on their vacation, seems like something they would do," said Bernard as he grabbed some black and red swim trunks.

"I'll change in the bathroom, you can change in here," said Voltaire and she went in the and looked around, "how do the council figures get so rich?"

"I don't know," came Bernard's response through the door.

"I mean this house is pretty big and really fancy," said Voltaire as she pulled the swim bottoms on.

"Great vacation spot but I couldn't live here, too hot," said Bernard.

"I agree," said Voltaire as she fastened the top and then knocked on the door. "Decent?"

"Yes," said Bernard. Voltaire opened the door and they just looked at each other.

"I think we are most definetly the palest people here," said Voltaire as she walked over to Bernard and compared their skin tone.

"Correction, I think you are the palest person here," said Bernard wrapping am arm around her waist.

"Shut it, I'm in the kitchen all the time, you at least go out side to see the reindeers and play tinsel football," said Voltaire as she threw her clothes in a corner and they walked to the pool.

"Yep, just remember it was you plan to go in the summer," said Bernard and they walked up to where Jack was sitting under a large umbrella at a table and sipping a tropical drink complete with fruit and little paper umbrella, there were two other of the same drink on the other side of the table.

"Well look at this happy couple, sit, sit," said Jack. The two sat down and looked at Jack.

"We have a few questions to ask of you," said Voltaire getting down to business.

"Ask away," he said smiling at her and then taking a sip of his drink, "you should really try this it is great."

"Later," said Voltaire as Bernard took a sip of his, "we just want to know why you went through the trouble of preventing us from falling in love?"

"I always saw you as a little sister, and when one has power, use it," said Jack.

"This is really good," said Bernard looking at his drink, "anyway, don't you think that is a bit extreme even by older brother standers?"

"Maybe, but it wasn't to keep you apart, no, it was to see if your love would overcome it," said Jack. Voltaire stopped sipping her drink and her and Bernard looked at each other then back at Jack. "But it seems I may have used too much power. But either way, doesn't matter because here you are, together and happy newlyweds. Tell me why wasn't I invited to the wedding?"

"Jack we are not married," said Voltaire.

"I would have you would have been married by now, the way your mother was so persistent on you two," said Jack chuckling.

"I know, but no, you would have been invited to the wedding, if it were to happen," said Voltaire getting a little uncomfortable.

"Ah yes, well we don▓t need to talk wedding plans, I'm sure your mother already has that all figured out. But if you need an ice sculpture, I'm you guy. So I have to go to a meeting and I'll let you two be, unless there are any other questions," said Jack standing up.

"None that I can think of," said Bernard. Voltaire just shook her head and Jack proceeded to leave.

"Oh and you're welcome to stay here as long as you like. Mi casa es su casa," he said before walking in the house. Bernard looked over at Voltaire who was eating the fruit in her drink.

"Well at least we got that questions answered," said Bernard.

"Yep," said Voltaire. Bernard then looked at her and she looked at him, "what's wrong?" He didn't say anything, he just picked her up and carried her over to the pool.

"You can swim right?" he asked with a big smile on his face.

"Yes, but don't you dare. Bernard put me down now!" said Voltaire looking down at the water.

"Bad choice of words," he said before dropping her into the water below. She came up for air and glared at Bernard who was laughing. She splashed him and he stopped laughing.

"You did not just splash me," he said.

"I believe I did and it was little in comparison to dropping me in the pool," said Voltaire. Bernard just walked over to the deep end and dove in and swam up next to Voltaire.

"But you do have to admit this is a great way to cooling off, so in a way, Jack is still doing his job," said Bernard as he turned and started floating on his back.

"When do you think we should return to the pole?" asked Voltaire as she got out and sat on the edge of the pool and played with Bernard's fingers.

"Not too late, we have to get back to work soon. I would say tomorrow. Relax for a day then back to work," said Bernard.

"You never change, but yes I agree. Your mum called the other day, by the way┘ugh I just rhymed," said Voltaire shaking her head. Bernard laughed.

"I'll call her back some time. I'm sure I already know what it's about anyway," he said and climbed out of the pool and sat next to her.

"Everyone at the Pole knows what it's about," said Voltaire laughing a bit.

"Yep, come on let's go dry off, and finish our drinks, those are just too good," said Bernard as he helped Voltaire up. She laughed at him and they walked back over to the table to finished their drinks.

That night they had a wonderful local meal prepared by Jack's chef, Voltaire was happy to know she didn't have to cook, and Bernard and Voltaire went to bed early just to get a good night's rest before returning.

"Hey Voltaire," asked Bernard as he laid there staring up at the ceiling with his hands behind his head. He was only wearing shorts due to the hot humid night and Voltaire was only in a tank top and shorts. She turned over and looked at him.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Do you really think your mum already had the wedding planned out?" He asked still focused on the ceiling.

"Honestly, yes, everything but the date," said Voltaire as she looked at the ceiling as well. She felt Bernard shift a bit and then lay still.

"Want to give her a reason to figure one out?" asked Bernard and then he held something in front of her face. It her a while to focus on what it was and when her eyes came into focus she saw that he was holding a ring.

"Bernard are you serious?" she asked sitting up and looking at him. He sat up and stared her straight in the eye.

"Dead serious. Voltaire I finally realized that I have always loved you ever since I first saw you sitting at your desk at elf school. I actually made this ring a long time ago, it was spontaneous and I never really knew what much to do with it. Now I know, so here goes the life changing question. Voltaire, will you marry me?" he asked.

"Which means I respond with the life changing answer. Yes," she said. He smiled and slid the ring onto her finger.

"And it is really ironic where we are right now too," said Bernard. Voltaire nodded and just kissed him. He kissed her back and they laid down.

"I think my mother might die from shock," said Voltaire as she laid her head on Bernard's bare chest and listened to his heart beat.

"I hope not, then we'd have to plan the wedding."

-

A/N: One part left, that I will type and probably get out tonight. Thanks for reading and please message. 


	17. Chapter 17

Two Heads are Better then One Part Final

Cheers erupted as Bernard and Voltaire pulled away from their first kiss as husband and wife. They turned to the guests and smiled at everyone. Voltaire looked over and saw her mum in the front row with tears pouring out her eyes. Turns out her mum and Bernard's mum had been getting together and planning the wedding, it was at the point that Bernard and Voltaire were going to marry each other whether they liked it or not.

"Congratulations you two," said Mother Nature and Voltaire turned and hugged her, "and might I say you look lovely in that dress, Voltaire."

"Thank you, for everything," said Voltaire.

"Now it's time to go party," said Mother Nature and they all headed to the reception area, also known as the ball room, cleared of balls of course.

"I never knew some one could cry so much," said Bernard indicating their mums. Voltaire just laughed and nodded her head.

"Now we would like the lovely couple to have their first dance," said Santa. All the elves cheered and Bernard spun Voltaire around before bringing her close and holding her waist.

"A great turn out I must say, were we really this popular?" asked Bernard.

"No, they just want to see their boss finally leaving," said Voltaire.

"Well I talked to Santa and we are welcome to stay a work as long as we want," said Bernard.

"Of course. Well I was thinking of maybe opening my own bakery, we all know I'm the best in Elfsburg so I would do very well," said Voltaire.

"Ego much? Anyway I like my job," said Bernard.

"I know that," said Voltaire who then laughed as he dipped her as the song ended.

The rest of the night was full of dancing and delicious eating. Abby was the one who ended catching Voltaire's bouquet, she turned a very deep red and went to a table to sit down and hide from all that stares. Voltaire and Bernard were dancing majority of the night. Finally it winded down and Bernard and Voltaire headed home to their apartment. Before walking in Bernard picked up Voltaire and carried her over the threshold.

"You are very cheesy, and I am amazed you can pick me up with all these layers of fabric," said Voltaire as her down and she lifted her skirt up.

"I wouldn't be shocked if that dress weighed more then you. Our mothers are never picking a wedding dress ever again," he said as he untied his tie. Voltaire nodded in agreement and took her shoes off and then reached behind her to undo the zipper, only to fail because the short sleeves wouldn't let her move.

"Bernard can you help?" she asked as she continued to try and reach the zipper. He walked over after taking his jacket off and unzipped the back of her dress slowly. She held the dress and up and Bernard put his hands on her almost bare shoulders. Voltaire's breath caught in her throat and she closed her eyes as she massaged her shoulders. She stayed silent and soon she spun around and planted her lips right on his. He was prepared for it though and kissed her back.

"I think you should really get out of this dress," said Bernard as they pulled away and she saw that the skirt had kept Bernard a good half a foot away from her. She laughed and went into the bathroom. Bernard out of the rest of his tux and threw on some flannel pyjama bottoms. He realized that when Voltaire slept on his chest it kept him warm enough that he didn't need a shirt. Voltaire soon can out in flannel pyjama bottoms and a tank top on. He smiled at her and wrapped his arms around her waist as she threw her dress onto a chair nearby.

"I had a great time today, I never knew wedding were more fun when you were the one getting married," said Voltaire turning around and wrapping her arms around Bernard's neck.

"Well then you're about to have even more fun, my love," said Bernard and with that he picked her up and placed her on the bed. She smilied at him and leaned up and kissed him gently.

"I love you," she said.

"And I love you," said Bernard.

The End.

-

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed it and did not mind the fast pace it went towards the end. I'm not a very romance-y type person so at least I tried. Thanks for reading. 


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